16 weeks pregnant. 40 days til Eric is home. It's surreal to even think about the fact that he will be home for good and we will be able to start our life together. I'm sure I've said that a thousand times now, but i never take a word of it for granted. My heart truly goes out to every woman whose husband is gone for longer than 8 months and who may be struggling with their husband being in more severe, combative situations than Eric was. I can only imagine what they go through everyday.
Eric did not end up having to go to Korea which was a blessing in itself. I know he would have liked to be there with the rest of his unit but they kept him back as he was needed more on base in Okinawa than in Korea. I was just happy bc there is so much turmoil in Korea right now. He is scheduled to come home mid May and will go to Quantico to de-brief for a few days before coming home for good. He is, of course, soooo excited to see everyone... But mostly he is excited to meet his baby growing in my little belly. :)
he is SO CUTE about having a son or a daughter. He's read more books about pregnancy than I have, he's telling me everyday how big baby is getting (in fruit-measurements) and he's just do excited that it makes me more excited! He tells me everyday how pretty I am and how my growing bump doesn't make me look disproportionate, which is sweet of him. And today he told me he can't wait to come home and read books to my belly and give it goodnight kisses. I mean... I have a perfect husband.
he wrote me the cutest card the other day, it was so funny and so sweet just talking about silly things I should be doing to prepare for his homecoming- for example: make up a thousand sexy nicknames for him, start doing lip exercises, and practice running toward the door with open arms. Hehe! I'd tell y'all more about it but I find it trashy and impersonal to share our personal letters on the Internet so I'll keep some to myself. ;)
As for me and baby, today marks 16 weeks pregnant! Boy is time going fast. In just a couple weeks I will be halfway through my pregnancy.... Like, what?! Haha
A couple more not-so-fun things about being pregnant: nose bleeds and worse allergies than ever!
A couple GREAT things about pregnancy: still a size 1 and in all my normal clothes... and I'm 16 weeks in! Woohoo!, I have gained a perfect 5 pounds and baby has a strong heartbeat and is healthy, Dr says that by next week (or two) I may start to feel the baby flutter in my belly (which will be incredible), in 4 short weeks I find out whether it's a boy or a girl, I feel all glow-y and excited like they say you should start feeling in your second trimester, and most excitingly, MORNING SICKNESS HAS VANISHED! Haha! I still have little to no energy but I'll take anything over morning sickness.
So we're 16 weeks and 40 days y'all... The 40 days part meaning the most (and probably the real reason I'm all glow-y and excited lately ;)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
First Trimester
Well, today I am officially 13 weeks pregnant and today is officially the first day of my second trimester! The first trimester was friggen ROUGH to say the least. Morning sickness was actually All-Day and All-Night sickness, had a couple strokes, cramps, everyday at noon I get heartburn that almost makes it so I can't even stand up, and to top it all off, Eric isn't here to help me and be here for me. He can't make the nausea go away, but what I would give to have him here to just rub my back while I lie on the bathroom floor. :( However, according to most books and websites and my Dr, I should be starting to feel better in the coming weeks. Everyone says the second trimester is way easier so here's to hoping! There are a few things that I will NEVER forget (and some things I learned) about my first trimester of my first pregnancy, and I thought I'd list them out so I have them officially documented.
1) Eric wasn't here. Which made everything 1,000x harder and more miserable.
2) The day I had my first ever ultrasound. I was 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant.
3) Pepperoni is a no go. Baby gets pissed and gives me relentless heartburn.
4) Along with pepperoni, extra sharp cheddar cheese, artichokes, asparagus, gummy bears, water with lemon in it, red onion, hotdogs, and Dominos pizza.... all make me vomit or want to vomit.
5) Starting to see the teeniest tiniest of baby bumps :)
6) having the very strong, definite feeling that we're having a girl
7) choosing baby names with Eric :)
8) hearing babys heartbeat for the first time
9) telling the baby all about Eric one morning then realizing I'd been talking to essentially no one for about 2 hours... but I choose to believe she heard me and understood. :) I thought she should know about her daddy and how much I love him.
9) spending about 2 straight weeks on the bathroom floor (not a good memory)
10) watching A Baby Story on TLC is not a good idea. Not because it makes me emotional, but because it scares the crap out of me.
11) having mini panic attacks when thinking about pushing a baby out from 'down there'.... maybe that was too much information but I'm freaking terrified.
12) I was super scared that my hormones would make me even MORE emotional and a huge basket case (and I'm already a pretty emotional person) BUT, by the grace of God, it seems pregnancy has had an opposite effect on me! I can't cry at all anymore for anything! I just have no heavy emotions anymore haha It's actually a nice feeling...
13) and this will be my favorite memory I think, but every night before bed I've been reading a book to the baby. We really like the book How Baby Elephant Got His Trunk and the Dr. Seuss books... especially Oh, The Places You'll Go. I dont think he/she even has ears yet but I feel like she likes it. and I really love just laying in bed at night reading to her. Maybe I'm lame, but oh well.
There are many more memories but those are the few that stuck out to me while writing this post.
So there it goes- first trimester over and second starting! The pregnancy seems to be going by so fast already but I know I still have a long time to go. Honestly, so far, I've hated being pregnant. I can't really name one good thing about pregnancy itself except, ofcourse, for the miracle that will be the end result. Lets hope for a smoother second trimester and and an even better third trimester when Eric finally comes home to me :)
1) Eric wasn't here. Which made everything 1,000x harder and more miserable.
2) The day I had my first ever ultrasound. I was 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant.
3) Pepperoni is a no go. Baby gets pissed and gives me relentless heartburn.
4) Along with pepperoni, extra sharp cheddar cheese, artichokes, asparagus, gummy bears, water with lemon in it, red onion, hotdogs, and Dominos pizza.... all make me vomit or want to vomit.
5) Starting to see the teeniest tiniest of baby bumps :)
6) having the very strong, definite feeling that we're having a girl
7) choosing baby names with Eric :)
8) hearing babys heartbeat for the first time
9) telling the baby all about Eric one morning then realizing I'd been talking to essentially no one for about 2 hours... but I choose to believe she heard me and understood. :) I thought she should know about her daddy and how much I love him.
9) spending about 2 straight weeks on the bathroom floor (not a good memory)
10) watching A Baby Story on TLC is not a good idea. Not because it makes me emotional, but because it scares the crap out of me.
11) having mini panic attacks when thinking about pushing a baby out from 'down there'.... maybe that was too much information but I'm freaking terrified.
12) I was super scared that my hormones would make me even MORE emotional and a huge basket case (and I'm already a pretty emotional person) BUT, by the grace of God, it seems pregnancy has had an opposite effect on me! I can't cry at all anymore for anything! I just have no heavy emotions anymore haha It's actually a nice feeling...
13) and this will be my favorite memory I think, but every night before bed I've been reading a book to the baby. We really like the book How Baby Elephant Got His Trunk and the Dr. Seuss books... especially Oh, The Places You'll Go. I dont think he/she even has ears yet but I feel like she likes it. and I really love just laying in bed at night reading to her. Maybe I'm lame, but oh well.
There are many more memories but those are the few that stuck out to me while writing this post.
So there it goes- first trimester over and second starting! The pregnancy seems to be going by so fast already but I know I still have a long time to go. Honestly, so far, I've hated being pregnant. I can't really name one good thing about pregnancy itself except, ofcourse, for the miracle that will be the end result. Lets hope for a smoother second trimester and and an even better third trimester when Eric finally comes home to me :)
Friday, February 24, 2012
so long time, no post. I know. Things have just been so, so crazy in our lives! Heres a little update:
The biggest news is that we officially know when Eric will return to us! As of right now, (and praying things dont change), Eric will be coming back to the US in mid-May! It seems pretty definite as the Family Readiness Officer has already sent emails out stating some of the details of the boys return and normally they wouldn't send those type of emails out without having something pretty solid. So yay!
Eric is doing great as well! He is currently still out in the field but he is returning to their main camp on Tuesday. He got to work on a cannon this time around in the field which we all know he loved. I personally see no delight in shooting a huge cannon but Eric was so excited to do it which was cute. Kid in a candy store for sure. When he gets back to camp they will have a few days off before they depart again for a different country all together which makes me a bit nervous. (Again, sorry I have to be so bland about some details, we arent allowed to talk about a lot of things in the open too much). But we're all praying that things stay safe in this new place and that he is able to come home in May as expected! 76 more days... but whos counting. ;)
As for things on my end, they have been good! Baby Waagner seems to be doing well! He/She is still making me super nauseous from time to time and giving me some indigestion and cramping so I know he/she is in there growing like a fiend! It's been quite a first trimester but today I am officially 11 weeks along giving me only 3 more weeks until my first trimester is OVERRRR and some of these symptoms and aches and pains will start to go away. They aren't kidding when they say that the first trimester is the worst haha! As far as my strokes, I've had another stroke since my first one and been to the neurologist seeking some answers. They don't seem to really have any answers yet so I need to get more blood drawn and take a few more tests before we really figure out what's going on. If I have a blood clotting disorder (which is probably the most likely) then I may need to start giving myself blood thinner injections everyday which would be no fun. I see the OB again next week and we will talk about the pregnancy and the blood results that she sent away and maybe figure something out. Who knows! But I'm feeling good and healthy in general.
All I'm looking forward to is Eric coming home and taking my life off of 'pause' and moving forward with him.
The biggest news is that we officially know when Eric will return to us! As of right now, (and praying things dont change), Eric will be coming back to the US in mid-May! It seems pretty definite as the Family Readiness Officer has already sent emails out stating some of the details of the boys return and normally they wouldn't send those type of emails out without having something pretty solid. So yay!
Eric is doing great as well! He is currently still out in the field but he is returning to their main camp on Tuesday. He got to work on a cannon this time around in the field which we all know he loved. I personally see no delight in shooting a huge cannon but Eric was so excited to do it which was cute. Kid in a candy store for sure. When he gets back to camp they will have a few days off before they depart again for a different country all together which makes me a bit nervous. (Again, sorry I have to be so bland about some details, we arent allowed to talk about a lot of things in the open too much). But we're all praying that things stay safe in this new place and that he is able to come home in May as expected! 76 more days... but whos counting. ;)
As for things on my end, they have been good! Baby Waagner seems to be doing well! He/She is still making me super nauseous from time to time and giving me some indigestion and cramping so I know he/she is in there growing like a fiend! It's been quite a first trimester but today I am officially 11 weeks along giving me only 3 more weeks until my first trimester is OVERRRR and some of these symptoms and aches and pains will start to go away. They aren't kidding when they say that the first trimester is the worst haha! As far as my strokes, I've had another stroke since my first one and been to the neurologist seeking some answers. They don't seem to really have any answers yet so I need to get more blood drawn and take a few more tests before we really figure out what's going on. If I have a blood clotting disorder (which is probably the most likely) then I may need to start giving myself blood thinner injections everyday which would be no fun. I see the OB again next week and we will talk about the pregnancy and the blood results that she sent away and maybe figure something out. Who knows! But I'm feeling good and healthy in general.
All I'm looking forward to is Eric coming home and taking my life off of 'pause' and moving forward with him.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
by far the cutest baby you've ever seen. already. hehe!
In case you can't tell, the baby is the little peanut looking thing in the black sack! Cutest little nugget eeeevvvvveeeeerrrrrr. and you should have seen his/her little heart! It was fluttering so, so fast and it was SO neat to see. It is truly SO CRAZY thinking that right now there is a little baby growing inside me with such a strong little heartbeat! I know it's so little but I like to think the baby already has feelings and loves her mama just as much as I already love her!... or him... hehe! ;)
Sunday, January 29, 2012
what.a.week.
It's been quite a rollercoaster lately around the Waagner house. and since I'm the only Waagner currently residing in the Waagner house, it has alllll been MY drama. haha In case you haven't already heard, here is what you missed:
Last Sunday I was out to lunch with family after church. Throughout lunch I had some weird feeling come over me and my brain felt as if it were shutting down a bit. I lost my short term memory for a while, forgetting who Eric was, my little cousin, my uncle, and even the names of movies or actors that I was racking my brain to try to remember. Neurologically, my brain just wasn't registering normal things anymore which was very scary. In the car on the way home, the right side of my body began to tingle along with my tongue and both hands. At that point my mom made the executive decision that it was time to go to the ER.
After an MRI, EKG, tons of blood drawn, constant monitoring, and staying overnight in the hospital, it was confirmed according to the neurologist that I most likely suffered a bloodclot in my brain which resulted in a TIA (a mini stroke). whew! What a Sunday Funday! haha I am doing a LOT better now and feel almost 100%... and I know that most of that is thanks to the tons of prayers and well wishes that were sent my way during the week. I have a wonderful family who took great care of me, and though Eric wasnt here through it, he was worrying like crazy and praying from afar. He took the best care of me :)
*and another special thank you to my amazing friend Desiree. She was by my side in the hospital and has just really been sticking by me through thick and thin during the deployment. She's just the sweetest most selfless friend I have and she has truly made all these transitions so much easier. God sends you the people you need to help you through things and there is no doubt that He has sent her to me for a lifelong friendship.
As far as our boy Eric, he is doing great over in Japan! He's ready to come home for sure though. Sometimes it feels like hes never coming home. I guess I'm so used to being alone I can't even imagine life with Eric any longer. I go through everyday and every night essentially a single girl. And that's a pretty sour feeling to not really remember what life is like with a man that you love so much. I'll never forget this experience because it has taught me a LOT about myself and it has taught me a lot about loneliness. So I just pray every night that I keep up the strength that I've been able to muster up thus far and stay positive.
We are almost seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully February and March flyyyyy by because I know April will either FLY by or creep by in anticipation for his return in May! Eric leaves soon for mainland for a couple weeks for training and will then be going to a different country all together for a month and a half which may or may not be a bit more dangerous so here's hoping that things stay peaceful and he comes home on time and safe! Sorry I have to be a bit more cryptic about this update but I'm not really supposed to talk about his whereabouts and all that for their safety. All he needs is our prayers and support which I know he just gets SO much of :) Gosh, I love that boy so much.
EEEEEK! LASTLY, but definitely not least, I seem to have come home from Japan with onnnne extra little souvenir........ I'm PREGNANT!!! haha We weren't planning or trying to get pregnant but it looks like God had a different plan for Eric and I and we're SO excited for it! We were a bit shocked/speechless at first, and after going through this past whirlwind of a year (engagement, wedding, and deployment all in the same year), we were planning to take it easy when Eric got home and have some quality time together as a couple.... but, like I said, God had a different plan and now we have a baby on the way! Eric has been SO cute and supportive-- and now hes just that much more antzy to come home! He has been reading pregnancy books over there and making sure I'm eating well. He's already such a cute helper for me. He talks about the baby constantly and about our family-to-be and how happy he is. He is honestly SO EXCITED to have this baby! I think he was born to be a daddy and he will be one of the best I've known. Makes me love him even more! Both of our families have been SO supportive also and SO excited for us which means the absolute world to us. I go to the doctor this Tuesday to have my very first ultrasound and hear the heartbeat and have the appointment with my OB. I'm so excited to see our little growing baby! Ill be sure to post my ultrasound picture here so yall can oogle our little nugget with us :) The Lord has never ceased to shock and surprise us and His grace has been flooding our life together since Eric and I met. I'm so thankful to Him for his abundant provision and love. So we are thrilled to be expecting and we look forward to whatever else God has in store for us! Hopefully after the baby is born we can finally settle down for a little bit-- our little family of 3!
again, thank you SO, SO much for all of your prayers and kind words. It has been a CRAZY couple of weeks with everything and we needed our family and friends and their love more than ever. We are SO blessed in SO many different ways.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to PROSPER you and NOT TO HARM you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE." -Jeremiah 29:11
Last Sunday I was out to lunch with family after church. Throughout lunch I had some weird feeling come over me and my brain felt as if it were shutting down a bit. I lost my short term memory for a while, forgetting who Eric was, my little cousin, my uncle, and even the names of movies or actors that I was racking my brain to try to remember. Neurologically, my brain just wasn't registering normal things anymore which was very scary. In the car on the way home, the right side of my body began to tingle along with my tongue and both hands. At that point my mom made the executive decision that it was time to go to the ER.
After an MRI, EKG, tons of blood drawn, constant monitoring, and staying overnight in the hospital, it was confirmed according to the neurologist that I most likely suffered a bloodclot in my brain which resulted in a TIA (a mini stroke). whew! What a Sunday Funday! haha I am doing a LOT better now and feel almost 100%... and I know that most of that is thanks to the tons of prayers and well wishes that were sent my way during the week. I have a wonderful family who took great care of me, and though Eric wasnt here through it, he was worrying like crazy and praying from afar. He took the best care of me :)
*and another special thank you to my amazing friend Desiree. She was by my side in the hospital and has just really been sticking by me through thick and thin during the deployment. She's just the sweetest most selfless friend I have and she has truly made all these transitions so much easier. God sends you the people you need to help you through things and there is no doubt that He has sent her to me for a lifelong friendship.
As far as our boy Eric, he is doing great over in Japan! He's ready to come home for sure though. Sometimes it feels like hes never coming home. I guess I'm so used to being alone I can't even imagine life with Eric any longer. I go through everyday and every night essentially a single girl. And that's a pretty sour feeling to not really remember what life is like with a man that you love so much. I'll never forget this experience because it has taught me a LOT about myself and it has taught me a lot about loneliness. So I just pray every night that I keep up the strength that I've been able to muster up thus far and stay positive.
We are almost seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully February and March flyyyyy by because I know April will either FLY by or creep by in anticipation for his return in May! Eric leaves soon for mainland for a couple weeks for training and will then be going to a different country all together for a month and a half which may or may not be a bit more dangerous so here's hoping that things stay peaceful and he comes home on time and safe! Sorry I have to be a bit more cryptic about this update but I'm not really supposed to talk about his whereabouts and all that for their safety. All he needs is our prayers and support which I know he just gets SO much of :) Gosh, I love that boy so much.
EEEEEK! LASTLY, but definitely not least, I seem to have come home from Japan with onnnne extra little souvenir........ I'm PREGNANT!!! haha We weren't planning or trying to get pregnant but it looks like God had a different plan for Eric and I and we're SO excited for it! We were a bit shocked/speechless at first, and after going through this past whirlwind of a year (engagement, wedding, and deployment all in the same year), we were planning to take it easy when Eric got home and have some quality time together as a couple.... but, like I said, God had a different plan and now we have a baby on the way! Eric has been SO cute and supportive-- and now hes just that much more antzy to come home! He has been reading pregnancy books over there and making sure I'm eating well. He's already such a cute helper for me. He talks about the baby constantly and about our family-to-be and how happy he is. He is honestly SO EXCITED to have this baby! I think he was born to be a daddy and he will be one of the best I've known. Makes me love him even more! Both of our families have been SO supportive also and SO excited for us which means the absolute world to us. I go to the doctor this Tuesday to have my very first ultrasound and hear the heartbeat and have the appointment with my OB. I'm so excited to see our little growing baby! Ill be sure to post my ultrasound picture here so yall can oogle our little nugget with us :) The Lord has never ceased to shock and surprise us and His grace has been flooding our life together since Eric and I met. I'm so thankful to Him for his abundant provision and love. So we are thrilled to be expecting and we look forward to whatever else God has in store for us! Hopefully after the baby is born we can finally settle down for a little bit-- our little family of 3!
again, thank you SO, SO much for all of your prayers and kind words. It has been a CRAZY couple of weeks with everything and we needed our family and friends and their love more than ever. We are SO blessed in SO many different ways.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to PROSPER you and NOT TO HARM you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE." -Jeremiah 29:11
Saturday, January 14, 2012
a cute prayer I found
Dear Lord, before I close my eyes to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, his soul to keep. Keep him here, safe and sound. Keep his boots on American grounds. Allow him trips to go back home. Give us time for our love to grow. But when the day comes, and we're oceans a part, give him peace to calm his heart, give him sleep to ease his soul, and keep his eye on the goal. Show him miracles throughout each day, so he knows that I am continuing to pray. Surround him with angels and watch over his bed. Keep him safe so his blood isn't shed. Give him the strength to survive each day, knowing your grace is never far away. Provide him with memories of me by his side, so he never once doubts that I remain SEMPER FI. You see, Lord, this Marine is my friend, my love, my life... and 'm blessed that he calls me his wife. I know he must first serve your purpose, so I sit and patiently wait... But if something happened to him let him enter your gates, because you see.. God, he is a selfless and sacrificing man, he's already given so much for the people of this land. My lips he can not kiss, and my arms he can not embrace, he sleeps alone in his rack in a bare and confined place. He's missed his mom's cooking and the hugs from his nephews too, this is why he is part of "THE PROUD AND THE FEW." So please reserve his pass, tell Peter to let him in, he's already gone though hell, don't make him go again... But please don't take him from me yet, Iraq and heaven can wait, I need to grow old with him, I want to join him at the gates. Can't you see dear Lord? As true as it already seems, I don't want to live my life without my Marine. AMEN!!! :)
Friday, January 6, 2012
God is right here
Today has been a rough day to say the least. Emotionally, I am exhausted from saying bye to Eric again and the long flight home filled with just hours of time to think and be alone with my thoughts. Physically, I am tired because I have a 14 hour jetlag to try and push through. Anyway, I woke up at 5:30am this morning, wide awake, and forced myself to atleast try to stay in bed until 7am. In that hour and a half I had about 2 breakdowns and just still couldn't believe how fast the two week trip went by and that I left Eric again.
I prayed a couple times that I would just stay strong today and get through all this emotional stuff again and be able to hold it together for the next four months. I found this singer randomly on TV today, shes a christian singer and wrote a few love songs on her album as well. This is the first song that I listened to of hers and maybe it was just luck, but then again maybe it was God just reminding me that he has an awesome plan for Eric and I and I just need to wait and let his will take control. Hearing this song and the lyrics made me cry again... but this time they were mostly hopeful tears and I instantly felt less lonely. :)
I prayed a couple times that I would just stay strong today and get through all this emotional stuff again and be able to hold it together for the next four months. I found this singer randomly on TV today, shes a christian singer and wrote a few love songs on her album as well. This is the first song that I listened to of hers and maybe it was just luck, but then again maybe it was God just reminding me that he has an awesome plan for Eric and I and I just need to wait and let his will take control. Hearing this song and the lyrics made me cry again... but this time they were mostly hopeful tears and I instantly felt less lonely. :)
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