hello optimism!

Eric is currently somewhere in Japan out in the field until the 21st... I think. And it sure does stink.  We spoke on Saturday morning over BBM and he told me he was going out to the field for about 10 days and surprisingly, I was fine with it!  I knew we wouldnt be able to talk and I knew I wouldnt know where he was or what he was doing, but I was oddly okay! (Although in all honesty, it has proved to be hard not talking to Eric the past 3 days... I really miss even just texting him. I need to remember not to take all the times we CAN talk for granted in the future, because not talking is pretty hard.) Anyway, it then hit me that I feel like I'm officially letting myself be okay with this deployment and not hating life so much.  It's about time, right?  I layed in bed thinking that maybe I've just grown used to this now.  I have LOVED that I've pretty much gotten to talk to Eric everyday since this deployment started... But maybe it's not that this whole thing has gotten easier, it's just that I've gotten better at handling it.  Yes- I miss him and wish he was home, but it's okay that he's not.  I have great people surrounding me here and I have the rest of my life to share with Eric and I'm so proud of him and what he is doing for our country that it overwhelms me! This weekend was the first weekend that I was truly just SO happy and felt SO hopeful.  Time is already going by pretty fast, I get to go to Japan for Christmas and see Eric which will break up the deployment, and then he is home mid-April! And biggest reason of ALL for my newfound optimism:  HE LOVES ME! and I love him! Eric and I got married and chose to spend our lives together because we love eachother and because we know God has this outstanding plan for our marriage.  I have nothing to worry about except my own fears driving me to insanity.  Eric is an incredible man and he is my HUSBAND and I'm the luckiest girl in the world for that and nothing can change that fact.  My marriage is solid and my relationship with Eric is exactly where it should be and we have Jesus at our core--- so what do I have to be afraid of? I feel like I've taken a breath of fresh air and I am finally choosing to be happy and be optimistic and give this whole thing up to God so he can do something great with it.

Phew! Rant over! ;)