goodbye

Well, yesterday was it.  It was a whirlwind of a day and it felt crazy.  Things flew by and kind of went in slow motion at the same time.  But dropping Eric off at his Unit and saying goodbye was by far the hardest thing I think I have ever done.  Knowing that I wont see him again for months. Knowing that its the last kiss I'll get and the last time his arms will hold me for so long.  Eric remained strong through the goodbye and I tried my best but couldnt fight the feeling of desperation to hold him longer or kiss him one more time.  Every feeling physically stung me and I was sick to my stomach as he closed the car door on me and walked away.  


I've closed my eyes several times already to remember how he smells and the way he feels. Yesterday,  I held his face in my hands, and that is a memory embedded into my mind. I can still feel his lips on mine, taste the salt of my tears, and hear the racing of my heart as we said, "'Til we see each other again." I wanted to stop the car and scream, "No! Don't leave me!" But I knew that I couldn't, so I left remembering the love we have and the strength he gives to me and trying to take with me the pride I feel for him because he leaves in honor of America and her people.



No one will EVER understand what it's like for a wife to send her husband away unless they personally endure it.  I will forever be effected by this trial that Eric and I are going to stomach for the next 7 months and the emotions and reactions that I felt yesterday were, hopefully, the hardest that we will need to go through and hopefully that was the near-end to all the tears.


All I need to know to get through everything is that Eric loves me and that he'll love me through all of this.  And I need him to know that he is the world to me and that I love him more than anything.


1 day down... and exactly 200 more days to go.