Though I know that the odds of this are slim, can you feel how much my heart is reaching out to you today? I know you're asleep right now, but can you feel the pounding ache in my heart? Not aching for my own want to be with you and touch you, but aching for you feel the same thing and somehow for me to feel comfort and not feel so alone. Can you feel that stretching achy feeling? Do you feel the "somethings missing" feeling? The one that tells you life goes on but at the same time life doesnt go on when everyday is consumed by the same thoughts of the other person.
I am sorry that my expectations for you somehow get twisted. I know that I weigh you down sometimes with unrealistic demands to try to be the husband that you would be if you were here in person. As your wife, I must concern myself with the role of being your best "FRIEND", because being the same partner and husband as you are in person is not possible for you right now. I will try to walk in you boots a little more everyday. I will learn to better accept you as God made you, and in that, listen better, encourage better, and give you a break. I promise that I will not always be good at doing this... but I will try.
When we go through times of turbulent communication, I'll try not to lose my head. When there is unresolved conflict, I'll try not to be selfish and impatient. I will try to accept these rough patches with womanly grace, instead of child-like fear and grief. You will never be able to understand what I am going through back here at home, so I will aim to understand that as well. Again, I promise I will not always be good at doing this... but I will try.
I am so irreversibly, unbelievably, wholly in love with you. Though we are not together right now, our marriage has roots. In the winter time, you can't see flowers but you know that underground, their roots are strong and intertwined. We do not see it, but God is at work there. He is still growing and sustaining and fortifying. Perhaps that's what God has done in our marriage. He is at work underground, giving strength to our roots and anchoring them; making a kind of love that will come out of this with a deeper understanding of connection and commitment. Root with me underground and let's grow another seven months deeper, where nobody can see us.
You have made me realize that I am a soldier of sorts. I have come to realize that very few women are made of the same cement that military wives are and I have the newest, most passionate, respect for couples like us and for you alone, as a United Stated Marine.
God made me strong when He made me for you. And when I cant touch you, lie next to you, talk to you, laugh with you, or tell you how much I love you- I will pray for you.
I will never give up,
your wife
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