by far the cutest baby you've ever seen. already. hehe!

In case you can't tell, the baby is the little peanut looking thing in the black sack!  Cutest little nugget eeeevvvvveeeeerrrrrr.  and you should have seen his/her little heart! It was fluttering so, so fast and it was SO neat to see.  It is truly SO CRAZY thinking that right now there is a little baby growing inside me with such a strong little heartbeat! I know it's so little but I like to think the baby already has feelings and loves her mama just as much as I already love her!... or him... hehe! ;)

what.a.week.

It's been quite a rollercoaster lately around the Waagner house.  and since I'm the only Waagner currently residing in the Waagner house, it has alllll been MY drama. haha In case you haven't already heard, here is what you missed:

Last Sunday I was out to lunch with family after church. Throughout lunch I had some weird feeling come over me and my brain felt as if it were shutting down a bit.  I lost my short term memory for a while, forgetting who Eric was, my little cousin, my uncle, and even the names of movies or actors that I was racking my brain to try to remember.  Neurologically, my brain just wasn't registering normal things anymore which was very scary.  In the car on the way home, the right side of my body began to tingle along with my tongue and both hands.  At that point my mom made the executive decision that it was time to go to the ER.
After an MRI, EKG, tons of blood drawn, constant monitoring, and staying overnight in the hospital, it was confirmed according to the neurologist that I most likely suffered a bloodclot in my brain which resulted in a TIA (a mini stroke).  whew! What a Sunday Funday! haha  I am doing a LOT better now and feel almost 100%... and I know that most of that is thanks to the tons of prayers and well wishes that were sent my way during the week.  I have a wonderful family who took great care of me, and though Eric wasnt here through it, he was worrying like crazy and praying from afar.  He took the best care of me :)
*and another special thank you to my amazing friend Desiree.  She was by my side in the hospital and has just really been sticking by me through thick and thin during the deployment.  She's just the sweetest most selfless friend I have and she has truly made all these transitions so much easier.  God sends you the people you need to help you through things and there is no doubt that He has sent her to me for a lifelong friendship.

As far as our boy Eric, he is doing great over in Japan! He's ready to come home for sure though.  Sometimes it feels like hes never coming home.  I guess I'm so used to being alone I can't even imagine life with Eric any longer.  I go through everyday and every night essentially a single girl. And that's a pretty sour feeling to not really remember what life is like with a man that you love so much. I'll never forget this experience because it has taught me a LOT about myself and it has taught me a lot about loneliness. So I just pray every night that I keep up the strength that I've been able to muster up thus far and stay positive.
We are almost seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully February and March flyyyyy by because I know April will either FLY by or creep by in anticipation for his return in May!  Eric leaves soon for mainland for a couple weeks for training and will then be going to a different country all together for a month and a half which may or may not be a bit more dangerous so here's hoping that things stay peaceful and he comes home on time and safe!  Sorry I have to be a bit more cryptic about this update but I'm not really supposed to talk about his whereabouts and all that for their safety.  All he needs is our prayers and support which I know he just gets SO much of :) Gosh, I love that boy so much.

EEEEEK! LASTLY, but definitely not least, I seem to have come home from Japan with onnnne extra little souvenir........ I'm PREGNANT!!! haha We weren't planning or trying to get pregnant but it looks like God had a different plan for Eric and I and we're SO excited for it!  We were a bit shocked/speechless at first, and after going through this past whirlwind of a year (engagement, wedding, and deployment all in the same year), we were planning to take it easy when Eric got home and have some quality time together as a couple.... but, like I said, God had a different plan and now we have a baby on the way! Eric has been SO cute and supportive-- and now hes just that much more antzy to come home!  He has been reading pregnancy books over there and making sure I'm eating well.  He's already such a cute helper for me.  He talks about the baby constantly and about our family-to-be and how happy he is. He is honestly SO EXCITED to have this baby!  I think he was born to be a daddy and he will be one of the best I've known.  Makes me love him even more!  Both of our families have been SO supportive also and SO excited for us which means the absolute world to us.  I go to the doctor this Tuesday to have my very first ultrasound and hear the heartbeat and have the appointment with my OB.  I'm so excited to see our little growing baby! Ill be sure to post my ultrasound picture here so yall can oogle our little nugget with us :)  The Lord has never ceased to shock and surprise us and His grace has been flooding our life together since Eric and I met. I'm so thankful to Him for his abundant provision and love.  So we are thrilled to be expecting and we look forward to whatever else God has in store for us!  Hopefully after the baby is born we can finally settle down for a little bit-- our little family of 3!
again, thank you SO, SO much for all of your prayers and kind words.  It has been a CRAZY couple of weeks with everything and we needed our family and friends and their love more than ever.  We are SO blessed in SO many different ways.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to PROSPER you and NOT TO HARM you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE."  -Jeremiah 29:11

a cute prayer I found

Dear Lord, before I close my eyes to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, his soul to keep. Keep him here, safe and sound. Keep his boots on American grounds. Allow him trips to go back home. Give us time for our love to grow. But when the day comes, and we're oceans a part, give him peace to calm his heart, give him sleep to ease his soul, and keep his eye on the goal. Show him miracles throughout each day, so he knows that I am continuing to pray. Surround him with angels and watch over his bed. Keep him safe so his blood isn't shed. Give him the strength to survive each day, knowing your grace is never far away. Provide him with memories of me by his side, so he never once doubts that I remain SEMPER FI. You see, Lord, this Marine is my friend, my love, my life... and 'm blessed that he calls me his wife. I know he must first serve your purpose, so I sit and patiently wait... But if something happened to him let him enter your gates, because you see.. God, he is a selfless and sacrificing man, he's already given so much for the people of this land. My lips he can not kiss, and my arms he can not embrace, he sleeps alone in his rack in a bare and confined place. He's missed his mom's cooking and the hugs from his nephews too, this is why he is part of "THE PROUD AND THE FEW." So please reserve his pass, tell Peter to let him in, he's already gone though hell, don't make him go again... But please don't take him from me yet, Iraq and heaven can wait, I need to grow old with him, I want to join him at the gates. Can't you see dear Lord? As true as it already seems, I don't want to live my life without my Marine. AMEN!!! :)

God is right here

Today has been a rough day to say the least.  Emotionally, I am exhausted from saying bye to Eric again and the long flight home filled with just hours of time to think and be alone with my thoughts.  Physically, I am tired because I have a 14 hour jetlag to try and push through. Anyway, I woke up at 5:30am this morning, wide awake, and forced myself to atleast try to stay in bed until 7am.  In that hour and a half I had about 2 breakdowns and just still couldn't believe how fast the two week trip went by and that I left Eric again.
I prayed a couple times that I would just stay strong today and get through all this emotional stuff again and be able to hold it together for the next four months.  I found this singer randomly on TV today, shes a christian singer and wrote a few love songs on her album as well.  This is the first song that I listened to of hers and maybe it was just luck, but then again maybe it was God just reminding me that he has an awesome plan for Eric and I and I just need to wait and let his will take control.  Hearing this song and the lyrics made me cry again... but this time they were mostly hopeful tears and I instantly felt less lonely. :)

byebye Japan

What. A. Trip.

I can't believe that it's over!

Aside from having to say goodbye to Eric again and the overwhelming sadness that sort of re-rooted itself, thinking about this trip and all the amazing times I had with Eric puts a huge smile on my face.  I am so overwhelmingly blessed that I got to go all the way to Japan to see him and spend time with him.  With four whole months to go in this deployment, I am praying that I find that strength that I previously had found before having to say goodbye again.  And I pray that the memories from this once in a lifetime trip will fill me with some joy and hope and excitement for Eric and I's next adventures... wherever life may take us. :)

I think I can honestly say that Japan might be on the biggest culture shocks any American would ever have over any other country.  Mind you, we weren't in mainland Japan where Tokyo and everywhere else is super American-ized.  We were on the smallll island of Okinawa where everything in traditional and completely foreign. haha  I couldnt possibly write a blog of every single thing Eric and I did but I already shared a few of the things in my previous posts and I'd like to keep a few things off the blog so I actually have stuff to tell people when I see them that they haven't already read! 

Mostly I just want to reiterate, again, as I have 3,000 times in this blog, what an incredible husband I have.  Eric made me feel like the most special girl in the world these past couple weeks.  He never let go of my hand, or let an hour go by without telling me how happy he was that I was there, or even rolled over in his sleep without telling me he loved me.  I honestly constantly feel like I do not deserve such an amazing man to call my husband.  He puts this glow in me and a happiness that no one else has ever brought out.  I will truly love him with everything I have for the rest of my life and I hope I can EVER make him as happy as he makes me.  I can't imagine my life any differently now that I have him.  This trip just reaffirmed every day for me why I fell in love with him and how much he means to me.  He will truly do whatever it takes to make me smile and he cares more than I can explain.  I love that man more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone.  He is just my whole world and I hope he knows that.  ;)

All in all, this trip to Japan was an experience filled with memories that I will never, ever forget.  It was so amazing and such a humbling culture shock.  Japan, America, or anywhere else in the world- Home will always be wherever my husband is.