sweet somethings

Just a random share:
 For Christmas, my aunt Lacy made me this super cute frame.  The idea was to write something you love about your husband on it each day and for him to write something back.  I just loved it and couldn't wait for Eric to get home so we could start!
It's not a strict everyday thing to keep up with but it's been fun to come home or wake up or at any random time of the day to find he's erased my 'something' and added his own.  Sometimes they're silly and sometimes they're more serious... it's just a little, special way to show our appreciation or love for eachother. We just like it  :)
Here are todays 'somethings'...

things

Today makes a week that Eric has been home and, needless to say, it's been such a perfect week.  And I don't use the term "perfect" loosely... it's literally been perfection.  This is sort of just for me to remember so it may not be very important to whoever reads this but here are some random things that I've noticed since he's been home that I didn't realize how much I loved/missed when he was gone:

- channel 570.  Which for the married woman, you know as ESPN.  I really like hearing SportsCenter from the living room again :)

- mornings.  Every day Eric has to be at work by 7:30am so everyday this week I've woken up at 6am with him and made him breakfast (6 eggs with cheese and bacon, sausage or ham and a coffee to be exact... he eats like no man I've ever met haha)  At first I didn't think I'd ever be able to keep this 6am routine up but it's already sort of become a special time for us.  Getting up at 6am, me making his breakfast while he packs his workout bag, listening to SportsCenter in the background, all the while getting little surprise kisses on the back of my head.  Then while he eats breakfast I just lay with him on the couch... and as soon as he's out the door at 7, I'm back in bed. haha

- getting dressed up! I love getting dressed up anyway and looking nice everyday but now that he's home I have someone to tell me how pretty my dress is and how I "barely look pregnant" <--especially important now that half my clothes don't fit and I'm getting more and more insecure about my basketball belly lol) and that I'm "so pretty"... I know he has to say these things because he's my husband but I haven't heard them for 8 months so it's just nice to hear! Girls- you understand.

- his laundry.  I've missed folding his shirts and balling his socks.

- coming home after work. and he's there waiting for me! I love it :)  it really FEELS like home.

- riding in his truck.  I don't really like driving so letting him drive us and bumping along in his truck gets me back to my true passion of being in charge of the radio.  He just shakes his head and laughs at me the entire time but I can't help that Q94 plays 'Call Me Maybe' every 20 minutes and I just so happen to be really good at finding it when it comes on. and I just so happen to know all the words and have an incredible singing voice.  Same goes for Justin Beiber.

- DATENIGHTS. 

- seeing his name light up on my phone when he calls

there are more but those are the ones I could think of off the top of my head. I remind myself everyday and every night as often as I can to remember not to take any of this for granted.  The odds are slim, but he could be given orders and shipped off again at any time and I think before he left I took so many little things for granted everyday.  Everyday life is SO much happier and truly feels like more of a blessing when you really realize HOW MUCH of a gift life is-- even the little things.  And it all comes back to God. Take the mentality of "what if tomorrow you woke up only with what you thanked God for today?"  Well, I plan on being sure that I'd wake up with my husband (and every little thing about him) tomorrow, and everyday after that. ;)

HE'S HOME!

I have to keep reminding myself that he's home and he's not going anywhere.  I am already so clingy and obsessive over him but I have no shame. haha! Here are the events of the past few days:

Thursday, May 17th-  Eric's homecoming
I woke up ECSTATIC and to be honest, I didn't sleep a wink Wednesday night.  Got ready to go and at about 1pm, I met up with his parents and the rest of his family at his Unit building over in Southside.  After abut 25 minutes, 4 big nice buses pulled into the lot and everyone started clapping and woo-hoo-ing and getting emotional :)  I saw Eric in the window of the bus and he waved and my heart melted.  The boys started filing off the buses and after a minute I saw Eric pushing through the crowds to get to us. He was hard to miss seeing as how he has gained over 30 pounds of solid muscle and, without exaggeration, reminds you of a less green Hulk. yum... haha!! He swept me up into his arms and I'll admit I let a few tears fall.  I wasn't even feeling that emotional but I guess the finality of it all hit me as he held me and told me over and over again that he loved me and how he'd missed me.  After saying hi again to all of his family and feeling their warm embraces, he noticed my baby bump. haha I like to think that that's when it all hit him because I could just tell something changed as he approached me and hugged me again and knelt down to get face to face with my bump.  It was a really sweet moment and I'll never forget it.  We literally spent that day wrapped up in eachother.  He didn't let go of me in the grocery store, he held my hand and was constantly touching me throughout lunch... It was almost surreal.  To be home with him and begin to literally pick up RIGHT where we left off with eachother. He has been SO loving and doting and sweet to me... I feel so so special and I never have to question how much he loves me.  To just begin to share our lives together again and even get re-acquainted with some of the little details about eachother that we may have forgotten about.  It's just hard to even articulate the feeling there.  And it hasn't gone away since then.

We had a really fun first weekend back together as well.  Thursday night we went to a fancy dinner with my parents, Friday night Eric took me to a romantic dinner and then we saw a movie (my favorite part was him falling asleep on my shoulder during the movie... but hey! it was like 9pm and he's suffering a 14 hour jetlag! haha) and then Saturday morning I woke him up by making him a big breakfast.  I forgot what a sweet sleeper he is.  He gets all bundled up under the covers to where just his eyes poke out... waking up next to him again has been every bit as amazing feeling as I thought it would.  After breakfast, we relaxed a little and Eric got to talk to baby Cannen a bit!  He's been SO sweet with my baby bump.  I swear he treats my bump like it was the baby... which it kinda is... but you get what I mean. haha  He's already such a good daddy and talks to Cannen all the time.  Later, we did a little shopping for some things Eric needed and then Eric took me to the berry farm to go strawberry picking!  I've never been so it was so fun and doing it with him was obviously the best part.  We got lots of yummy berries and the best part was that we helped the economy a little bit by buying local produce! We spent the night snuggling and watched a movie... and again, we were in bed by 9. haha!  Sunday we went to church and EVERYONE... and I mean everyone... was SO welcoming to Eric.  He talked to so many people and so many people were hugging him and welcoming him home again.  It was awesome to watch.  He's truly been on so many peoples minds and in so many peoples prayers.  Then we just spent the rest of the day with my family and had a really nice day.

Monday was the worst because I had to go back to work and I mean, I just got my man back! I don't want to let him out of my sight yet! haha  I swear all weekend he wasn't further than arms length distance from me so going to work yesterday was just rough! I don't want to ever have to miss him again for one more moment. That's the worst.  Today we had an ultrasound for baby Cannen so Eric got to see our son for the first time.  He was SO cute and so loving throughout the whole appointment.  The ultrasound technician made us laugh because Cannen was, yet again, being lazy and stubborn and wouldnt let us get a good picture of him! He was just relaxing and, again, had both of his hands folded up by his head.  We laughed because she was like "come on little boy, get movin! wake up!" and when she looked over at Eric, he was laid back in the chair next to me, just relaxing, with both HIS hands up by head! Without even noticing! haha like father like son, huh?  I loved it so much.

But anyway, to sum everything up, the past 5 days since Eric has been home have been utter ecstasy.  Just bliss.  We're kind of falling in love with eachother all over again in a sense and getting back into certain routines is just so fun and special.  Having him there when I wake up is probably the best feeling I've felt yet... the boy literally doesn't roll over in his sleep without giving me a forehead kiss or telling me half-consciously that he loves me.  It's the sweetest most comfortable and safe feeling I've ever had.  I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been these past few days and I know it will continue.  We always say how we want to be "newlyweds" forever, and I think we can pull it off! haha.

We went through QUITE a season of life there.  It was a long and crazy 8 months apart from eachother but the Lord took us, and molded us, and helped us adapt and delivered us through it with more hope and joy than we could have expected.  This blog has helped me immensely in getting my feelings articulated, and my family and friends have been DETRIMENTAL in helping me keep sane through the deployment and first half of pregnancy, and Eric has been more than supportive and loving through every step... but it is truly and purely only Jesus who took our marriage and took our hearts and got us through each high and low of the whole experience.  He is the reason Eric and I are able to pick up where we left off so easily and I think we are both much stronger and better people together and separately because of how God used this time to grow us individually and show us a whole other side of what it is to be married and be in love and bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ into our marriage.  He brought us through this with more grace than I thought either Eric or I had the capacity for and it's been truly incredible to see where we've both come out on the other side.  ALL thanks to God.  It's truly mindboggling.  He is SO real...

p.s. if you dont have facebook or haven't seen the pictures from Eric's homecoming on facebook, I'll be posting them on here later tonight so check back :)

Eric's homecoming

So yesterday, Eric finally arrived in Norfolk after a long, long flight from Okinawa!  I havent seen his name pop up on my phone in months so as I was sitting with Des yesterday afternoon and my phone started ringing, I swear I almost burst into tears when I saw "Eric Calling" show up on my phone with his personal ringtone which is the song we danced to at our wedding (which I totally forgot that I'd given him his own ringtone).  It's been really cool being able to talk to him on the phone again.  We skyped a lot while he was in Okinawa but actually talking on the phone makes me really happy for some reason.

Per usual with the military, and as somewhat expected, I haven't gotten to see Eric yet.  He was flown into Norfolk and was immediately bussed to Quantico for de-brief and RILOC.  All day today he has been sitting in mundane classes about different things and he will do so for the next 3 days.  Just having him close again is really nice in itself though.

I finally received the email from one of his officers up in DC about when I will get to finally see him and bring him home.  Getting that email was just really, really exciting finally knowing exact dates and times.  SOOOOO, I officially pick Eric up on Thursday around noon!!!  They will be bussed back to his Richmond Unit, have a brief formation, and then be officially released to me to take him home and un-pause our life together.

Cannen can't wait to meet his daddy and I can't wait to get my husband back and actually start our marriage.  Eric is SO excited to see me and Cannen as well and he's ready to jump back in to life and help me get ready for this baby!

Nursery planning!

     So I knew from the beginning that I did NOT want to go the "pink or blue" themed nursery direction.  Overplayed, cheesy, ugly... words that some to mind when thinking about a blue/pink nursery.  I also knew that I didn't want to do the usual thing- cute smiley elephants and lions, mother goose, pastels, Noahs ark, sports, etc.  Those are all overdone.  Originally I had always wanted to go with a toile theme if it was a girl, or a nautical theme if it were a boy.  Then my aunt Sarah did the nautical theme (and I was right on that thinking because her nautical nursery is to DIE for).
     SOOOO,  Eric and I set out for a new nursery theme!  And we've finally decided and yesterday- click click  doubleclick- I ordered everything!  And baby Cannen's nursery theme isssssssssssss:  Vintage Woodsy Critters!
      Explanation:  I found wall decals of cute woods animals- not the usual lions and tigers and bears, but rabbits, deer, squirrels, birds, owls, etc. (picture below) I LOOOOVE that the animals are patterned and made of fabric! It's going to bring such a cool element to the walls. We are going to paint the wall adjacent to the decal wall an earthy green color and put his crib up against that green wall with the Owl Name Decal over the crib. I looooove accent walls. PERSONALLY, I couldnt be more excited about this and so I just wanted to share :)
     We move out of our house in less than a MONTH and into our new home! I cannot WAIT to put his nursery together and take real pics to show yall!

Cannen's woodsy little critters decal set!

 Sherwin Williams gave us paint chip suggestions to match our decals!

this will obviously say Cannen- but how friggen cute!

first 20 weeks of pregnancy- DEBUNKED.

I've wanted to write this for a while now and I think now that I'm half way through my pregnancy, I have some seriously valid points that I need to be perfectly honest about.
     Before you actually are pregnant, pregnancy looks like such a cute and fun time in your life.  You see that big bellied woman walking through the mall in her sweet little spring dress and you just think "awww...".  And followed by that, you think about the sweet little baby in her belly and how exciting that must be.  Or you see a movie and the pregnant girl looks so blissfully happy and excited. THEN, you get married and think "I have just married the man of my dreams. One day we will start a family and it will be so perfect and we will have the cutest kids in the world. I can't wait."  THEN, you go to Japan to visit that perfect man of your dreams, have a truly magical time, and come home and start getting back to real life.  THEN, a week later, you find out your pregnant. In a Target. Because you couldn't wait until you got home because you had to pee right that moment or you were going to explode.
     Now comes the fun.  You call your mom sobbing.  She's in Hawaii on vacation. Then you text your husband, who is 14 hours ahead of you in Japan, to wake up because he is currently asleep. Unaware of the horror and panic that is going on in your car in the Target parking lot.  Later, all has calmed down.  The idea of a baby becomes not-so-scary and more exciting with each passing hour.  After your first Dr. appt where they confirm your pregnancy, it actually becomes more fun! Then you buy all the pregnancy books and calendars that you can find in Barnes and Noble and you get even more excited! Heck, even taking a prenatal everyday is exciting! You don't want to tell anyone that your pregnant yet because you are so newly pregnant and traditional that you're waiting for the 10 week-ish mark.  Whoops!- but then you have a stroke thanks to your ever changing preggo body and your annoyingly smart family and friends start to question why they aren't giving you a CT scan! Annnnnd the word is out. And you're getting "congratulations!" texts while lying on the MRI table.  And before you know it, everyone and their mom knows you're pregnant annnnnd you had the pleasure of telling NO ONE! (Don't mess with the power of the gossiping family grapevine.  You tell one person-- everyone knows. Within minutes.)

So it's out! You're pregnant! You're pregnant with a baby that you and husband had not exactly planned for, but it's still a wonderful thing!  You must be thrilled! Everyone else is! You're going to love being pregnant! Everyone else does! Except... no.  Some women experience no symptoms of pregnancy and have a beautiful experience. We hate those women. Some women have an awful experience full of complications and changes, and I truly feel so bad for them.  Then there are some of us who just have the normal difficult, love-hate relationship with pregnancy.  Or maybe you're somewhere in the middle. I have compiled a list of things no one tells you until you're sucked in and good 'n' knocked up.  Here goes.



Exhaustion
Two things I've learned.  First Trimester- you will not stay awake. You cannot stay awake.  No amount of sleep will give you energy.  You will go to sleep at 8pm every single night and on the weekends you will do nothing.  People will whine and moan that you are avoiding them and that you never come around anymore. Your friends will think you're lame. Leave us alone. We are nauseous and tired. Always, always tired.
Second trimester- nothing changes. Other moms tell you to get ready for the second trimester BOOST of energy, but this is a lie.  There is no boost. You may stay up until 8:30pm.  But that's about as far as that goes. You will feel narcoleptic.  People will still give you crap for not hanging out as much. This is all perfectly normal, so says my Doctor.  For those moms who have experienced this Second Trimester Energy, I hate envy you.


You Must Always Be Happy
 In a way, it's dumb to even try to explain all this to people.  Like trying to explain mustard to a fish.  Women who are already parents tell you you're just going through stress and it'll be fine.  Women who aren't parents just look at you like you're nuts.  Reality:  Pregnancy is horrifying.  You have no idea what's going on with your body.  No one tells you what's normal and what's not. And there are a lot of times where you're just straight filled with doubt!  Did you make a mistake? Can you handle taking care of another LIFE for the rest of your life?  If you're like me, you'll have some serious breakdowns.  You will think this is too fast, I just got married, I am terrified and this MUST be a mistake.  THEN, you'll text your husband in Japan looking for some support and kind words, and tell him your worries and that you're currently bawling your eyes out.  THEN, his response will say something like: ".my 'So You're Going To Be A Father' book said that you'd probably get like this. All extra emotional and irrational. Don't worry. Just chill. It's just your hormones."...................  Of course THAT is exactly what you were hoping to hear and all your fears and concerns are dismissed....................
..... Anyway,  point is, I've learned that it's more than okay-- it's NORMAL-- to not see this pregnancy as the ultimate, magical, wonderful gift every minute of everyday.  You just pray and prepare as much as possible and hope to God you're a good parent. And realize that despite his insensitive and rude approach misplaced affection, your husband was right-- you're hormones are messing with you big time.

Morning Sickness
Everyone talks about morning sickness but somehow, it never actually gets the appropriate credit for how awful it is.
1) Women who are pregnant should get a 3 month, first trimester, excused sick leave from work.  Done and done.
2)  (This one is for husbands/people who have never been pregnant or don't know much about pregnancy)  Don't be fooled into thinking morning sickness has anything to do with mornings.  I honestly have no idea why they call it that and it plucks my nerves a bit! It's all-the-friggen-time sickness and it makes me laugh that people think we're just nauseous in the morning then we go about a normal day.  And when I say it makes me laugh, I mean it makes me want to punch you.
3)  Don't grill raw chicken, use curry, cook seafood , or open a God forsaken can of tuna within a 10 mile radius of a first trimester preggo.  Just don't do it.


Other Aches Pains and Misery
- Everything will hurt.  Your boobs, your back, your stomach, your feet, your ankles. Everything.  If nothing hurts, something is wrong. If everything hurts too much, something is wrong. If everything hurts just enough to make you want to rip that part of your body off, then your pregnancy is going smoothly and everything seems healthy! :)
- Try not to cough or sneeze. This causes something called Round Ligament Pain. A sharp MISERABLE pain that shoots through your uterus like someone has just sent a fireball up through your vagina and it exploded around your cervix. That's what that is.
- Your babys kicks are sweet and innocent.  and sometimes hurt. Especially the bladder ones and the cervix ones.
- You will NEED your husband like you need water. Even if he is thousands of miles away.  He will be the sweetest ever and try so hard to understand what is going on in your little belly and just when you feel like you want to hurt everyone around you, you'll realize how much you need him.  Poor guy doesn't have the right answers and only knows what he reads about pregnancy but you will realize how wonderful of a dad he will be more and more everyday.  Don't blow up at your husband... he's doing his very very best to understand this crazy time in your life!
- EVERYONE and their mom has advice for you.  Some of it is actually great advice.  Those moms with young children have truly great advice usually! It's the people who have never been pregnant who at some point in their life vaguely knew someone who was pregnant-- THOSE are the people who will have the most ridiculous advice for you that will most likely contradict the advice of your doctor and will probably defy any logic.  These people are the most annoying people.  An 80 year old who gave birth 60 years ago will have a BOOK of advice for you-- most of it complete and utter rubbish.  Your best friend will share every bit of her wealth of knowledge that she learned while watching A Baby Story, and freak you the heck out. Your husband will give you advice based on what he remembers from his mom being pregnant with his sister in 1990, OR based on what his "So You're Going To Be A Father" book tells him.... written by a guy.
- Pregnancy will mostly be not that fun, except for you lucky women.... but it is always, always worth it in the end.  And any mom will tell you that.

So this is what I've learned so far from being pregnant these past 21 weeks.  Mostly this is just meant to be humorous and pregnancy HAS NOT been an awful experience everyday.  But I will say that I was pretty naive coming into being preggo and didn't realize how true some of the crappier parts of pregnancy could be.
*Sigh* Corny as it is, I wouldn't give up being pregnant for anything now that I know I have the sweetest little man growing inside of me.  I plan to write another one of these after I give birth with any other myths I may debunk/things I may learn the hard way over these next 20 weeks.  Needless to say, I'm not a girl who looooves being pregnant! I'm no Octo-mom or Michelle Duggar.  I do love my little boy so much already though and I know I'll appreciate the experience that is pregnancy more after it's all over.

Now it is exactly 8:41pm... I'm going to sleep. ;)

ohhhh Boy!

I'm a bad blogger lately.  Sowwy about that.  SUCH big, fun, exciting things happening lately though!  Here goes:

-  IT'S A BOY! My ultrasound last week was surreal and quite an experience. (a couple PICTURESSSS below at the end of the post- she printed off about 20 for me but I won't share them all.) When I lay down and the woman told me I was having a boy, I will admit that I teared up a little bit, but it soon hit me that I was tearing up because Eric wasn't there with me.  I pictured what his face would look like upon hearing the news that he was going to have a son and even just my distorted, fictional made up image brought me to tears.  I know he would have been so happy.  I sucked up my tears though and soon it hit me that I was about to bring a little Eric into the world. Scary, right? ;)
         I was SO glad to have my mom there with me, though.  She has been my ROCK through this whole first and second trimester.  She's been by my side at every big appointment and every step of the way and I only hope I can be that supportive and wonderful of a mother to my son.  It's amazing how she's held me together at different moments of this pregnancy.  When she found out she would soon have a grandson she filled with tears of joy as well and, even though Eric wasn't there, it was really, really awesome sharing that moment with my own mom.
        So after seeing his little "pointer" and taking in all the excitement, the ultrasound went on for a while longer.  She took measurements and all of his measurements came back perfectly normal for how far along I am.  We also realized that he might be a little too much like his daddy already.  Our baby boy was so uncooperative! haha!  He quite literally just laid there and didn't move.  The ultrasound technician said that usually the babies are moving around, wiggling around, and they make it pretty easy for them to get all of their measurements and for them to get decent pictures for us mommies and daddies to take home!  Not our boy!  He literally laid there, on top of the placenta like it was a mattress.  We watched him stretch out his feet and cross his little ankles, and watched him throw his arms back and scratch his head.  From there, he pretty much relaxed and took a nap.  I wiggled around, turned on my side, turned on my other side, poked at him-- he wasn't having it.  So lazy! haha!  So because of this, I have to go back in another 4 weeks for another ultrasound to have the technician get the rest of his measurements that he wouldn't let us get. Little booger.  Atleast Eric will be home though so that's actually exciting because he will get to come see the baby and HOPEFULLY our boy is a bit more animated and energetic this time around!
      Eric and I also decided on his name-- Cannen Eric. (pronounced like "cannon", like a cannonball, not "kay-nen".) haha Anyway, Cannen stems from the old Hebrew biblical name Canaan which means "covenant".   We both agree that it's a good strong name for our boy.  We decided on Eric as a middle name for him because it's another good strong name!  It's the name of his daddy and the name of his grandpa, my dad.  He will carry on the legacy of two great, strong men.

- In other, equally as exciting news, ERIC COMES HOME IN A WEEK!  That's right people. A week.  I am REELING on this fact and sometimes think I might explode of excitement.  I can't stop smiling, I'm all ooey-gooey loveydovey all the time, and just the happiest a wife could be.  I feel pathetic sometimes but knowing that my husband will soon be home, for good, back in our home, back in our bed, and I get to do his laundry again and make him dinner makes me SO happy.  He's so excited as well and hes still so good about telling me how excited he is to see me and meet my baby belly. haha!  The minute he's home, I don't plan on letting him out of my sight again for a good long while. But seriously. I'm not going to.  Ugh... I love that man.  My Marine.

haha it's a boy!

sweetest little footsie.

not a good side profile picture of him because he wouldn't move from his comfy spot, but he's still a cutie!

Hoping for better pics of him at the next ultrasound on May 22nd!  Will keep ya updated with those!