Myths about newborns that I was told that are total crap

It's funny and I laugh while I write this post because I remember how nervous I was about having Cannen.  The birth itself and bringing him home terrified me.  I had this constant daydream where I got the baby home, put the carseat down, sat on the couch and looked at my baby and literally just thought "umm... uhh... so now what do we do with him....?"
Ofcourse, when you get pregnant, everyone and their mom gives you all the unsolicited advice in the world.  I already wrote a post debunking pregnancy myths and now I will attempt to put other new moms at ease by telling you which things about newborns that I've noticed aren't so true.  Here goes.

1) Maternal instinct.  I think I'm still waiting for this.  So many people tell you about maternal instinct and how it will kick in when you get the baby home but um, atleast for me, not really.  I got Cannen home and literally began wondering how this baby was going to eat, sleep and generally survive.  I'm still so confused by so many things.  Maybe it's just a general lack of common sense.... I'll have to look into that.

2) Preparing for birth.  "make sure you do this and this and this and this and this and this before you go in to labor because you want to be prepared."    .....You won't be prepared. Don't waste your time.  Ignorance is bliss.

3) "oh, he's probably just colic-y".  This one is so annoying.  99% of babies do not have colic.  They aren't colic-y.  Just because your baby is crying for seemingly no reason doesn't mean that they have colic. But moms LOVE to use this word.

4) Babies smell so sweet.  5 minutes after their bath? Yes. Johnson&Johnson baby lotion smells so great.  Other than that babies smell like spoiled milk and poop.  The catch is that even when your baby does smell like sour milk, you still love his smell because your his mama.

5) "Everything will go back to normal once you get home and get used to things."  .....uhh.... except for the BABY that lives with you now....

6) Newborns sleep all day.  This is false.  Babies sleep a lot but they don't eat-sleep-eat-back to sleep-diaper change-back to sleep... it's just not like that.  He's awake a lot! Just awake and wanting to snuggle! I literally bought into it when everyone told me that Cannen would just sleep all the time and that his waketime would be like a total of 30 minutes a day haha

So thats what I've learned so far from being a mama.  If this keeps up I seriously think I'll have enough to write a book.

It's already been a MONTH since Cannen was born!  Time seriously flies.  Like my earlier blog said, the first couple weeks were definitely the hardest of my life but now that we're getting into a groove with him, things are just going SO well.

He's down to only waking up twice a night, and last night he only woke up once!  Usually it's about 2am and 5am that he whines, I feed him, and then he falls right back to sleep.  Last night it was one feeding around 4am.  So I'm really hoping that Babywise starts working it's magic and that in another couple weeks we can drop his middle of the night feedings all together.  Other than that, we're on a strict 3 hour schedule for feedings and Cannen is taking to the schedule really really well.  He's doing great and a really happy baby... and because of that, Eric and I are really happy parents :)

Other things going on:

Eric is in the middle of the school semester and stressed and overwhelmed to say the least.  It's definitely proved to be a hard semester for him and his classes are tough.  However, he's handling everything with more grace and patience than I ever could.  He's in class all day and then comes home to a newborn and still has crazy amounts of work to do.  I'm certain that it's just an answer to my many prayers that Eric would have a successful school year and that the stress wouldn't bring him down.  He has this way of not letting things effect him as much as you think they should.  No matter what, at the end of the day, he walks through the door with a smile on his face and beelines to me and Cannen to give us both a kiss. I look at him and see all the potential in the world and his constant support and grace is truly inspiring for me.  

We started a new small group through our church which is already something that we so look forward to every week.  We've began some new friendships and furthered others and we can't wait to see where God will lead us and the other couples.  Since we got married Eric and I have always prayed that we would find the right small group and it's taken a year to really work itself out.  A few options ended up being on nights where Eric had class or I had work.  A few other options just felt a bit uncomfortable for us because it seemed that there weren't many people our age in our same place of life.  23 years old and married with a baby on the way isn't the norm.  But, again, God answered our prayers and we're so thankful to Him for that.  There is another couple who has a baby just a few weeks older than Cannen and so even he has found his first little friend!  All around it's just such a blessing.  

As for me, there isn't much to say except the tales of being a new mom.  Spiritually, I feel that I'm starting to understand more and more who God wants me to be as both a wife and a mom.  I never had the strongest prayer life but since Cannen was born I feel like I'm constantly saying little prayers throughout the day.  Prayer is what gets me through the harder days and I can't help but constantly thank God on the easier days. I had been so concerned and scared for Eric and I's relationship.  Just nervous that with the baby and school and everything else going on that we would lose sight of our marriage and grow distant.  Our minds are constantly on different things and our day to day priorities are different.  And in the end, yes, it has effected our marriage.  And I'll be honest, it's been really hard for me.  But it hasn't been as much of a bad change as just a change in general.  It takes getting used to and working through it and where before it was just easy, now it takes more work.  I wouldn't change anything for the world though.  I still have the most incredible husband and he still shows me he loves me in more ways than I can count a day.  And I have a beautiful baby.  And all around and incredibly blessed life... I'm still learning how to juggle it all but I'm just so thankful to God that I have it all to juggle in the first place.  

don't forget:

Cannen is already bringing us more joy and excitement than I could have imagined.  I will admit that at first, the stress of having a newborn overshadowed the joys of having one.  I know that makes me sound like such a bad mom but it's true.  You can only prepare yourself so much for having a newborn baby in the house and all the changes that come with it so when it actually happens and you are responsible for a little person it is SO unbelievably overwhelming.  (ok, it still is totally overwhelming but it truly does get better and easier everyday)  But in the very beginning, I'll admit, that there were more stressful times than happy ones.  I was more frustrated and confused than I was happy to have this little man constantly relying on me for every little thing.  I've obviously never been a mom before so it's just absolute craziness when you get the baby home and start mommyhood.  

However, like I said, everyday it gets better and better and there are already SO many things about my little man that I never want to forget so I wanted to list them out so I can refer to them later in his life.  He shows a little more of his personality everyday which is remarkable for a 13day old.  He has little habits that make Eric and I laugh and he just grows to be more perfect everyday. 

 I have completely and irrevocably fallen head over heels for this little boy.

- He sleeps with his hands up by his face.  In my belly, everytime we'd get an ultrasound he would ALWAYS have his hands my his face so we NEVER got a good picture of his little face.  and even now, he still sleeps with his arms up and his hands either covering part of his face or in little fists by his ears.  It's really really cute.

- His swing.  He LOVES sleeping in his swing.  The swing isnt even plugged in or rocking him back and forth.  He just likes being in the swing and prefers to nap there.  We have spent probably half the nights since he's been home with me sleeping on the couch and him sleeping in his swing next to the couch because that's the only place he would sleep.  

- His carseat.  Hates it. The getting buckled in part. Not having it. 

- Diaper changes.  Hates them.  Ya know how moms always say there are 3 reasons that a baby is probably crying?-- They're hungry, they have a gas bubble/need to burp, or they have a dirty diaper.  Untrue.  Cannen would rather sit in his dirty diaper than have it changed. He has never cried because of a dirty diaper.

- This one may be TMI-- when it's time to eat, he literally turns into a wild man.  I pick him up, turn him on his side to breastfeed, and he opens his mouth wide as possible and starts flailing his head around and making pig noises until I guide him over and he latches on to me.  And from there he is the loudest eater EVER.  Eric has heard him from the other room before.  He swallows really loud and makes really loud breathing noises like he literally is afraid to take a breath for fear that the milk won't be there anymore if he stops sucking.  It just makes us laugh.

- He had his two week old checkup today and has gained 11oz since birth.  He definitely eats enough!

- His little feet are the cutest things I've ever seen.  I can't even handle his teeny baby feet.

- He LOVES sleeping on his belly up on your chest.  He curls his little legs under and sticks his butt out and buries his face in your chest and falls asleep.  There have been a few nights that the only way I could get him to sleep is to let him sleep on my chest and he'll sleep there all night long. It's really cute though-- he's definitely a snuggler.

- The way he looks in Erics arms.  Heart melting.  Eric has such big muscle-y arms and chest and Cannen literally looks teeny tinier than ever when hes snuggling with Eric.  It's amazing to watch Eric with him though... Thats probably the thing that I'll never ever forget and the image is burned into my memory.  Eric is SO good with him and talks to Cannen like he's an adult sometimes haha! It's really cute and I KNOW that I've definitely lost that battle-- Cannen will DEFINITELY be daddys little boy and want to be JUST like Eric and doing whatever Eric is doing as he starts getting older.  

I'm sure there are more but Cannen is waking up and ready to eat so I'll have to come back and add them later.  We are a blessed little family and so happy to wake up to this little man everyday. :)

Introducing: Cannen Eric!

Our baby boy is here! Finally! A week ago today I was getting all packed up and ready to go to the hospital to begin my induction.  It's crazy that that was only a week ago...

Thursday went smoothly.  We were admitted into a really comfortable, nice delivery room and the process began.  Around midnight my contractions started to get pretty strong but nothing too bad.  I was put on some medicine to help and that made me feel a ton better.  Around 3am, my contractions were pretty unbearable because they had started me on the pitocin so I requested my epidural.  After my epidural was in I felt incredible.... for a little while.  I slept for a while longer and had a decent morning.  Around 10am(ish?) things got really bad as my epidural was somehow not working.  My legs were numb and my belly was numb but it was just the skin that was numb- nothing else.  So as contractions and the pressure got more and more intense, I began to feel EVERYTHING.  From 10am until 3:35pm (when Cannen was born), I was in the most excruciating pain I'd ever felt.  Contractions came every minute or so and I was dilating well but I was stuck at 9 centimeters for the longest time.  They tried 3 different medications in my epidural to help with the pain and nothing worked.  It was the worst pain I had every experienced.  I was EXHAUSTED as well and began to get delirious.  I don't remember a lot of things within those 5 hours except being put on oxygen and being terrified everytime I would feel a contraction coming, just knowing how bad I was about to hurt.  Eric was there holding my hand and silently praying his way through each contraction.  He was the most amazing and supportive partner and coach through that whole afternoon.  He held my hand and kissed my forehead more times than you could count.  He helped me breathe and told me how much he loved me and how great I was doing.  I know I must have been a hot mess the whole time but he still made me feel pretty.  My mom was there too through everything except the actual birth when she left so it could just be Eric and I.  She was SO helpful too- drying my tear stained face and helping me breathe through the contractions and the pain.  She's obviously done this three times so she knew how to help and how to help alleviate some of my pain.  I don't know what I would have done without Eric and my mom.
Around 3pm-ish, I was finally 10cm dilated and it was time to push.  I was so so scared.  Knowing that I was about to feel every bit of this birth and knowing that I could be pushing for well over an hour or MORE before the baby crowned, and knowing that through all of that I'd still be experiencing the pain of the contractions every minute... It was terrifying. At this point I couldn't feel my arms or neck anymore because of how tense I my body had been the past 5 hours through all of those contractions.  I was told to push through every contraction and that's what I did.  It was by far the most awfully painful and horrendous experience I could ever imagine.  Had the epidural worked, I'm sure my story would be different. (The Dr explained to me that sometimes, for unexplained reason, a womans body will just simply reject the epidural.  Her nerves won't accept the medication and just the skin or certain parts of the lower body will feel the numbing. I couldn't believe of all the epidurals given everyday to laboring mothers, I got a dud. lol) Between pushing through contractions I was literally falling asleep even despite the amount of pain my body was in-- THAT'S how exhausted my body was.  Eric said I was mumbling random things and not making any sense.  I don't remember much about the pushing phase of the labor and I'm probably glad that I don't.  It was just awful.
Finally, at 3:35pm, Cannen Eric Waagner was born into our world.  They put him on my chest and I tried to swaddle him up as good as I could.  Through my tears I saw Eric's tears and a flood of relief came through my body as I heard his little boy cry.  SUCH a teeny little cry meant that the labor was over, I was done, and I had a beautiful son.
Weighing in at 8.8lbs and 20.5in, I had a pretty good size baby there! They handed him to me after cleaning him up and Eric and I got to look at our son.  He was pretty alert and awake and just looked up at us trying to take in his big world I imagine.  The sense of pride and love that I felt for that little boy is unlike anything I could explain.  He started off as nothing and he grew to be this little man, half me half Eric.  It's an amazing miracle.  After a bit, they took him up to the nursery because they were a little fearful that he was retaining fluid in his lungs.  His breathing sounded a little off to them but the Dr's werent too concerned.  After they moved me up to my recovery room I was reunited with my little boy again where we spent the next two days together in the hospital with Eric and tons of visitors-- just getting to know eachother a little better :)

Cannen is now 6 days old and 6 days cuter and 6 days more perfect if that was even possible.  It's been a long and sometimes rough week just simply figuring out how to handle a newborn.  I'm new at being a mommy, Eric's new at being a daddy, and Cannen is new at being a baby!  It's a learning experience for us all!  Night times have been hit and miss.  2 good nights, and 2 bad nights since we've been home.  Sleep is minimal but I somehow mostly get through the day with a smile on my face... but I know that's just God having his hand on our family through even the little things.  I've found motherhood to be the most insane feeling of love so far.  Something I've clearly never felt before. Eric has been the sweetest daddy and watching him with Cannen is by far my favorite part of everyday.  Cannen looks up at him and it melts my heart.  I thought it wasn't possible for me to love Eric more but watching him with Cannen and being a co-parent with him has made me grow to love and respect and need him more than I ever imagined... He was always a perfect husband and somehow so far he's naturally a perfect dad.  I came out to the living room the other day and Eric was sitting with Cannen, reading the bible with him.  In the hospital Eric told Cannen his first bedtime story- the story of how Jesus died for us and God's love for Cannen.  It's only been 6 days since he was born and I've already had so many deep heart moments that I'll never forget.
Sometimes I'm too much of a worrier and I know the sleep deprivation has gotten to me a bit too.  I worry that Eric and I's marriage will fall second to the baby and we could lose touch.  I worry that I wasn't ready to be a mom and I don't know what I'm doing.  I worry that I'll screw up and make a mistake.  I worry that Eric will become over stressed and home will be a place of chaos and tension instead of love and relaxation. All of these silly worries that I need to let go of and give to God and embrace a peace of heart about.  I know everything is going to be wonderful.  I know Eric and I have a love for eachother that exceeds any stress or trial that we could come to.  I know that as long as we pray and do our part to make God the most important part of Cannen's upbringing and life that Cannen will move mountains one day and be the kind of boy that the Lord wants him to be.  We've started this little family, we have no idea what we're doing half the time, but we have all the faith in the world that the happiest days of our lives are yet to come.  As a mom and a wife, I am SO in love with my two boys and I'm devoted to building myself into the best wife and mother that I can be for both of them.  It is by an insane amount of grace that I have the life that I do.  As my daily prayer life and relationship with the Lord grows everyday, I see more and more that God has had his hand in everything that's happened to Eric and I the past year or so and it's all turned out to be more than we could have hoped for.  Eric is the best thing that has ever happened to me and Cannen is the best thing that's happened to us.  ALL thanks and glory to God...


"She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."  -Proverbs 31:26-31

Here comes baby boy...

Today is just a huge day of crazy emotions.

At 5pm tonight, Eric and I are going to the hospital where we'll spend our last night as a family of two!  At 7am tomorrow morning Dr. Mahoney will start my induction and if all goes smoothly, we'll be holding our baby boy by tomorrow evening!  It's crazy that the next time I sleep in my bed I'll have a baby boy in the bassinet next to me.  It's crazy that I'm going to be a MOMMY but I'm so so so excited to meet Cannen.  Holding him in my arms is a feeling that I can't even imagine right now.  I'm so excited and so anxious and so happy and just a whole host of emotions right now.  

Seeing Eric hold him will probably be the most special moment for me.  I have the most perfect and loving husband and when all is done and Eric has his baby boy in his arms for the first time, it will honestly be the most amazing moment.  I get emotional just thinking about it.  I will never love a boy to the capacity that I love Eric and Cannen... they are my whole world already.  

Eric is really excited too. I can tell its the kind of excitement where he doesn't quite know what to expect and he is anxious and seems a bit nervous too.  He is going to be the most incredible dad.  Granted, he's never changed a diaper and the thought of it legitimately freaks him out but I know he'll do great.  I keep telling him Cannens dirty diapers will be the cutest dirty diapers he'll ever see ;)  He's so loving and protective and supportive of me so I just know he'll kick that all into overdrive and be a perfect dad to our little boy.  He has every quality of an amazing father and role model and spiritual leader that God would want him to be for our son.  Cannen and I are the luckiest people in the world to have Eric as the most important person in our lives.

We're as prepared as we can be for the baby and at this point it's just a new experience for us, but part of it just hasn't even clicked yet that we're about to have this little man come in and run our lives.  Everyone always says being a parent is a love that you've never experienced or felt before and for Eric and I that's definitely true.  We don't know what to expect but we know it's going to be incredible.  God has been at work in our hearts big time the past 9 months.  Preparing us for the responsibility of parenthood and working to mature us in the ways that we'll need in order to be the best parents we can be for Cannen.  

After the longest 9 months of my life, I'm so ready to meet my little boy.  I can't wait to kiss his nose and fingers and toes.  I can't wait to hear him cry and feel him breathe on me.  I can't wait til he grasps my finger with his little hand.  I can't wait to see what color his eyes are.  I can't wait to get to know his little habits and to watch him sleep.  I can't wait to watch Eric with him and inevitably see Cannen grow up to want to be JUST like his daddy.  Not a minute has gone by in the last 9 months that I havent thought about the baby in my belly and wondered about him.  He wasn't expected and he began as a huge, stressful surprise, but he's grown to be the most special and amazing gift that I could ever ask for.  I wouldn't have gotten through the last 39 weeks without Eric and my parents and family and Eric's family.  We have more support and prayers coming our way than I could imagine.  We are so blessed and so lucky to have the most loving families and parents.  I will keep learning and hopefully grow to be an incredible mom, just like my mom is.  

This little boy is already the most loved baby in the world.  I can't wait to meet our son :)

** For those of you that have been asking/ for people wanting to come visit us in the hospital and meet baby Cannen, we'll be there accepting visitors this whole weekend!  If all goes according to plan and he's born by Friday evening, then anyone is welcome to come visit Saturday or Sunday! 

We are at Henrico Doctors Forest.  I don't know our room number yet obviously but you can call Labor and Delivery or the Womens Pavilion there and just tell them my name and they'll let you know :)   We would love to see yall and baby Cannen would love it too!


Here is a poem that my sister in law, Gretchen sent me.  I really loved and thought it was SO special so I thought I'd share.

Baby’s Choice

Did you ever think, dear Mother?
As the seeds of me you sowed,
As you breathed new life inside of me
And slowly watched me grow,
In all your dreams about me
When you planned me out so well,
When you couldn't wait to have me there
Inside your heart to dwell,

Did you ever think that maybe,
I was planning for you, too,
And choosing for my very own
A mother just like you?
A mother who smelled sweet and who
had hands so creamy white,
A tender, loving creature
Who would soothe me in the night?

Did you ever think in all those days
While you were coming due,
That as you planned a life for me
I sought a life with you?
And now as I lay in your arms,
I wonder if you knew
While you were busy making me,
I was choosing you.

38 weeks/the CRAZY past few days

     So we are officially 38 weeks pregnant and more ready than ever for this child to make his way into the world.  Except, I'll admit, after yesterday and the past couple days, I'm kind of getting really nervous!  I thought I was SOOO ready for labor and so ready to push him out but I'm starting to get worried and super nervous!  Maybe I'm okay with him staying in there a little longer.... I'm totally back and forth.
Anyway, here are the events of the past couple days. If not for your knowledge, then for me to be able to look back one day and recall this crazy end to our journey.

Thursday evening around 6pm I started having contractions.  Not real ones, just the annoying Braxton Hicks, pressure ones.  These started coming every 10 minutes and came through the night and through yesterday morning.  They never let up. So I called my Dr. and she said to call back if they started coming within 5 minutes of eachother.  She said to take a long walk, bounce up and down, do squats, eat something spicy-- basically try to throw my body into real labor contractions as opposed to the false contractions.  I started doing squats around the house and Personal Trainer Eric informed me that I was doing them wrong so he showed me the right way.  I tried out his method and ended up pulling my groin muscle.  Thanks for that, honey. SOMEONE didn't think that maybe a pregnant woman with 25 extra pounds on her front side can't do the perfect squat! haha So after my failed attempt at those, I decided to go on a loooong walk around the neighborhood to try and get gravity to work in my favor and force this baby out. I walked for about an hour and when I got home my contractions were timeable, within 5 minutes of eachother for about an hour.  I called the Dr, and she told me to come in and get monitored.  They put me on a machine to monitor my contractions and to monitor the babys heartrate.  My contractions were still minutes apart so I thought this might really be it, BUT they didn't hurt very much so it didn't seem like it could be the real thing at the same time.  However, the babys heartrate dropped to below 90 a few times (average heartrate at this time is between 120 and 160) so the Dr thought it might be good to admit me into Labor and Delivery and monitor him for a bit longer and monitor my contractions some more as well.  5 hours later, we were told that we could go home.  The baby was fine and my contractions were getting more painful but still not enough to make me dilate or be considered "real labor".  Frustrating? Ha.  Our ultrasound came back normal as well which made me feel better except my amniotic fluid levels which were average, but on the low side of average.  So where we stand now is that the Dr thinks he'll be here anyday! Ofcourse, no one, not even the doctor, could ever tell you for sure.  I have another appointment on Tuesday to check my amniotic fluid levels again and if they are lower she MIGHT induce me just to make sure the baby doesn't go into any stress.  If I still haven't had the baby by Tuesday AND she doesn't find it necessary to induce me then I will be the girl in bed crying and begging for Cannen to just PLEASE come out!

So here we are today.  10am Saturday morning.  Still having contractions every 5-7ish minutes.  For now the last 40 hours. Getting increasingly more painful but not unbearable.  Soooo maybe today is the day?? Not getting my hopes up, but still, that's hard to do.

my favorite pic ever :)  Cannen with his mouth wiiide open in a yawn.  and look at that little nose!  I can't wait to kiss this sweet baby boy.

36 weeks and 4 days

We are 37 weeks pregnant at the end of this week!  CRAZY!
I now go to the doctor once a week and will continue that until the baby comes.  Today my appointment went REALLY well as the Dr said that baby is all the way down (settled into the cervix), he's head down, 100% effaced and I'm about 1cm dilated!  Last week he was just head down so we made a lot of progress in the last 7 days! Hopefully I continue to progress at the pace that I am and baby comes soon! Alas, the wait continues for now.

Eric and I have been super busy lately just getting ready for all the things happening soon!  Eric starts his last semester of school this week and amen for that!  He would have been done back in 2010 but thanks to Marine bootcamp and his deployment he's had to miss 3 semesters of school, so he's finally able to finish up his last semester!  I know he'll do great but I'm going to have to be really good about giving him time to study and handling the baby myself so he can get his work done and etc.  Not to mention he'll still have drill work to do for the Marines so he's going to be a busy boy!  I can't stop thinking lately how thankful and how blessed I am to have such a hardworking, dedicated husband.  He truly wants the best for our family and he will do anything to make sure Cannen and I are provided for and he does it with a really humble heart and a smile.  He knows how crazy this semester is going to be but he doesn't let it get to him and he's excited to have a packed schedule during the day and a new son to come home to at night.  He's really just great and I find myself praying for him and thanking God for him more and more throughout everyday.  I don't deserve him and how much he puts up with and how much he loves me.

We were thinking about doing a maternity photoshoot but after more thought we've decided to just do a family newborn session which I'm SO excited about.  I've found some of the cutest examples of pictures and we found a great photographer so I'm getting really excited about that.  We're going to do it at home in bed which I think will just look super natural and comfortable.  We're in constant communication with the photographer giving her updates on the pregnancy because we're planning to do the shoot when Cannen is a week to ten days old.  We don't want to wait too long... if there's something I always notice it's that newborns only look like newborns for a few weeks!  It's crazy how a newborn is only so teeny and "new" looking for such a short time and then they're just full blown babies! But anyway, I'm really excited for that and I think it'll be SO perfect and cute.

I'm also recently more obsessed than ever with working out and eating right after this baby comes out.  Luckily I just naturally didnt gain excessive weight during the pregnancy but it's been SO annoying going to the doctor every week and logging my weight gain and not being able to do anything about it.  Most pregnant women can work out more during their pregnancy but the Dr told me back in first trimester that I'm not allowed to work out.  The most I can do is walk on the treadmill and tone my arms and other non-strenuous things. (This being because of the two strokes I had at the beginning of my pregnancy and my constant bad blood pressure).  It's totally fine ofcourse that I'm gaining weight and I know I need to gain excess weight to have a healthy pregnancy..... it's just a weird feeling at first to gain weight so fast and keep gaining for nine months!  Normally you'd be trying to go the other way and lose weight to be healthy! haha!  In any case, this is all just to say that I'm SO excited to pop this baby boy out and get to the gym and get back in real shape...and back into normal pre-pregnancy clothes!  <--- mostly that reason.  I'm determined to be in better shape after this pregnancy than I've ever been and I know I'll be able to do it.  Theres nothing like a pregnancy to make you miss certain things that you never thought you'd miss... like a sweaty gross gym session! ;)

Another exciting thingggggg:  My best friend, Desiree, is getting married exactly a month from today!!!  I couldnt be happier for her as she is already such a beautiful bride :)  Unfortunately her wedding is exactly a week after my duedate so this child needs to come out like now or atleast very soon so I can make the wedding!  I will honestly be heartbroken if I have to miss her wedding.  Either way, I'm just so excited for her and her WONDERFUL fiance, Tony.  They are a super fun couple and a super goodlooking couple too so I just know it will be a gorgeous wedding.  She's getting more excited everyday and I'm right there with her.  You'd think it was my own wedding with how excited I get sometimes... haha!

But anyway, thats about it for now!  Mostly our lives have just revolved around getting ready for baby Cannen and getting ready for Eric's last school semester.  As always, we are SO thankful for all the amazing people surrounding us and praying for us and getting excited with us for all of our upcoming adventures!  We have the best family and friends and I'm so humbled and blessed.

I know, I know-- every post I write is about this baby and my [perfect] husband.  But that just goes to show how a baby on the way literally takes over every part of your life.

I'm 33 weeks (34 at the end of this week) and things seem to be pretty normal! I go for my next Dr appt tomorrow and then my last ultrasound 2 weeks from now!  THEN I go to the Dr every week until this baby decides to pop out!  At my last appt Dr. Mahoney told me that she doesn't think I'll make it to my due date so judging with my motherly instinct, I'm going to just guess that he comes my 38th week.  Which would be awesome but we'll see!  However, NO girl in my family has ever given birth early so that's disheartening. haha!  Literally going back to my great grandmother, not one female on my moms side of the family has had their baby until AFTER their due date.  Now I know it's not a hereditary thing but there's got to be something to be said for a record like that!  I'm talking to my Dr tomorrow about getting induced if I end up running late after my due date (Sept 14th) so we'll see how it all plays out!

Eric and I had our baby shower this past Saturday which was such an incredible time.  My grandparents, mom, and aunt Lacy planned everything from the smallest decoration details to the incredible food and cute little games.  We decided to make it a co-ed shower which was the BEST idea I've had.  Having Eric there and all our men family and friends was so great and made it that much more fun.  Over 50 people came to celebrate little Cannen and it was the most humbling and special day to have so many people supporting us and loving us.  It took over an hour to open up gifts (everyone seemed to just go buck wild on baby Cannen) and he is now officially the most spoiled baby ever- both with material things and just with people who love him.  It was a truly perfect day :)  (some pics below)

I've also decided to concede and let Cannen follow his daddy's footsteps and be a Redskins baby.  ughhh.  This was a hard decision to come to terms with seeing as how I'm as much of a Cowboys fan as a girl can be.  BUT in the end, I figured this is his first son and he's going to be born right in the beginning of football season so he can be a little Redskins fan.... atleast for his first football season. ;)  He's ready to go with an authentic Moss jersey and a little Underarmor Redskins sweatshirt. Cannen will be the only thing about the Redskins that I find irresistable. ;)

And the countdown continues!  I'm exactly two months from my due date today and it's becoming a little too real and the anxiety is catching up with me!
We just got back from a week long vacation to Jersey last week which was SO nice.  We went with my family.  The beachhouse, the boat, the food, the weather-- everything was SO nice and so perfect.  It was our last vacation that we'll take before Cannen is born so I cherished it to say the least haha!  

Eric has been working at the Marine Corps unit still Monday thru Friday.  It makes for an early morning start for him but he gets home around 4 everyday and so that's nice.  I've been enjoying being home and not working though I still try to keep the house cleaned everyday and do the laundry and etc.  It's getting harder because it's literally a TASK to just get off the couch with my ever growing belly.  Plus, I'm constantly tired and suffering from third-trimester insomnia which has been rough lately.  I feel bad a lot because Eric goes and works hard all day and sometimes he comes home to a very pregnant lazy wife, still in her PJ's, laying on the couch or napping.  I feel like I'm not doing my part a lot and that makes me sad and a little guilty.  I try to cook him big healthy dinners every night though and atleast do a few nice things for him a day.  I don't deserve such a perfect husband.  Since I'm getting bigger and bigger its causing me to be sluggish this summer and Eric has been such a good sport about having such a boring wife lately.  I know he doesn't like sitting around with me and having to stay inside if it's over 90 degrees (which it has been almost everyday lately :(  But he's being such a good husband and a good supporter. Braxton Hicks contractions started about a week ago and I have one a day on average.  They are the WORST so I can't imagine what labor contractions will feel like! I try to block that image out.... haha  I'm just SO excited for this pregnancy to be over and to feel normal again.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having this sweet little boy inside of me and I fall in love with him more and more everyday, but- still- I'm not a fan of pregnancy itself. at allllll. haha  but like I said, just eight more weeks!


My baby shower is coming up which I'm SO excited about!!! Eric and I decided to do something a little bit different and make it a couples shower so he will be there as well and all the men in our life are invited too.  I wanted to make it less of a girly baby shower and more of just a big party for baby Cannen! It's going to be so fun and so many people are coming and it will just be such a good time.  Both my grandmothers and aunt and mama are planning it and between the 4 of them, I KNOW it will be the cutest most special baby shower.  I'll definitely put up pictures afterward :)


thats about it for this mini-update! If I think of anything else I'll always be sure to post! 

update

It's been QUITE a couple of weeks around the Waagner household!
Last week Eric and I went on a nice long vacation to Myrtle Beach and stayed at my families beach house there.  It's SUCH a pretty beach house and it was so nice to all that space to ourselves.  That will be the last vacation Eric and I get to go on that is just us two before Cannen comes so we really enjoyed ourselves and enjoyed just spending time together.  The day we got back we moved into our new home! I'm not working any longer so it's been my job to unpack boxes and try to get the place up and running while Eric is at work during the day.  It's a tidious job, especially with my basketball belly slowing me down.  BUT being a housewife and soon to be stay-at-home-mom makes me REALLLY happy! haha! I get a little bored during the day but having dinner ready when Eric comes in the door and having everything nice and clean for him makes me even more happy.  I like that he doesnt have to worry about anything.  And being a Desperate Housewife has sort of always been my dream soooo it works out. :)

Cannen seems to be growing daily.  I've been feeling a LOT of pressure lately and I can tell by his kicks and squirms and tiny feet jabbing my ribcage that he's running out of extra room in there to wiggle and squirm like he's used to doing. He keeps me company during the day and I like to think he loves our snuggly mornings and afternoons wiggling around with mommy.

Eric is doing really really great as well.  He's adjusted well to being home and adjusted even better to a pregnant wife! He's still working on active duty at the Unit here and he's done there on June 29th which is WONDERFUL because we leave on June 30th for a week to New Jersey (yes, THAT part of New jersey- Seaside Heights) with my family for a long beach vacation! It's funny that they film the TV show there because my family and I have been vacationing in Toms River/Seaside Heights for YEARS now.  We go every 4th of July from as far back as I can remember.  It's so much fun and I'm so excited to introduce Eric to everything Jersey ;)

We're in our last trimester now and baby Cannen will be here in about 2 and a half months.... AH! and Eric will start his last semester of school in August and graduate this December, hopefully with an offer from a great financial advising company or something like that.  We have a LOT of faith in God about the next few months and we have faith in his guidance for us.  We are entering a lot of unknown territory coming up soon and we know we just have to pray and trust God to bring us to all the right things and help everything fall into place as it should.  His will be done.

sweet somethings

Just a random share:
 For Christmas, my aunt Lacy made me this super cute frame.  The idea was to write something you love about your husband on it each day and for him to write something back.  I just loved it and couldn't wait for Eric to get home so we could start!
It's not a strict everyday thing to keep up with but it's been fun to come home or wake up or at any random time of the day to find he's erased my 'something' and added his own.  Sometimes they're silly and sometimes they're more serious... it's just a little, special way to show our appreciation or love for eachother. We just like it  :)
Here are todays 'somethings'...

things

Today makes a week that Eric has been home and, needless to say, it's been such a perfect week.  And I don't use the term "perfect" loosely... it's literally been perfection.  This is sort of just for me to remember so it may not be very important to whoever reads this but here are some random things that I've noticed since he's been home that I didn't realize how much I loved/missed when he was gone:

- channel 570.  Which for the married woman, you know as ESPN.  I really like hearing SportsCenter from the living room again :)

- mornings.  Every day Eric has to be at work by 7:30am so everyday this week I've woken up at 6am with him and made him breakfast (6 eggs with cheese and bacon, sausage or ham and a coffee to be exact... he eats like no man I've ever met haha)  At first I didn't think I'd ever be able to keep this 6am routine up but it's already sort of become a special time for us.  Getting up at 6am, me making his breakfast while he packs his workout bag, listening to SportsCenter in the background, all the while getting little surprise kisses on the back of my head.  Then while he eats breakfast I just lay with him on the couch... and as soon as he's out the door at 7, I'm back in bed. haha

- getting dressed up! I love getting dressed up anyway and looking nice everyday but now that he's home I have someone to tell me how pretty my dress is and how I "barely look pregnant" <--especially important now that half my clothes don't fit and I'm getting more and more insecure about my basketball belly lol) and that I'm "so pretty"... I know he has to say these things because he's my husband but I haven't heard them for 8 months so it's just nice to hear! Girls- you understand.

- his laundry.  I've missed folding his shirts and balling his socks.

- coming home after work. and he's there waiting for me! I love it :)  it really FEELS like home.

- riding in his truck.  I don't really like driving so letting him drive us and bumping along in his truck gets me back to my true passion of being in charge of the radio.  He just shakes his head and laughs at me the entire time but I can't help that Q94 plays 'Call Me Maybe' every 20 minutes and I just so happen to be really good at finding it when it comes on. and I just so happen to know all the words and have an incredible singing voice.  Same goes for Justin Beiber.

- DATENIGHTS. 

- seeing his name light up on my phone when he calls

there are more but those are the ones I could think of off the top of my head. I remind myself everyday and every night as often as I can to remember not to take any of this for granted.  The odds are slim, but he could be given orders and shipped off again at any time and I think before he left I took so many little things for granted everyday.  Everyday life is SO much happier and truly feels like more of a blessing when you really realize HOW MUCH of a gift life is-- even the little things.  And it all comes back to God. Take the mentality of "what if tomorrow you woke up only with what you thanked God for today?"  Well, I plan on being sure that I'd wake up with my husband (and every little thing about him) tomorrow, and everyday after that. ;)

HE'S HOME!

I have to keep reminding myself that he's home and he's not going anywhere.  I am already so clingy and obsessive over him but I have no shame. haha! Here are the events of the past few days:

Thursday, May 17th-  Eric's homecoming
I woke up ECSTATIC and to be honest, I didn't sleep a wink Wednesday night.  Got ready to go and at about 1pm, I met up with his parents and the rest of his family at his Unit building over in Southside.  After abut 25 minutes, 4 big nice buses pulled into the lot and everyone started clapping and woo-hoo-ing and getting emotional :)  I saw Eric in the window of the bus and he waved and my heart melted.  The boys started filing off the buses and after a minute I saw Eric pushing through the crowds to get to us. He was hard to miss seeing as how he has gained over 30 pounds of solid muscle and, without exaggeration, reminds you of a less green Hulk. yum... haha!! He swept me up into his arms and I'll admit I let a few tears fall.  I wasn't even feeling that emotional but I guess the finality of it all hit me as he held me and told me over and over again that he loved me and how he'd missed me.  After saying hi again to all of his family and feeling their warm embraces, he noticed my baby bump. haha I like to think that that's when it all hit him because I could just tell something changed as he approached me and hugged me again and knelt down to get face to face with my bump.  It was a really sweet moment and I'll never forget it.  We literally spent that day wrapped up in eachother.  He didn't let go of me in the grocery store, he held my hand and was constantly touching me throughout lunch... It was almost surreal.  To be home with him and begin to literally pick up RIGHT where we left off with eachother. He has been SO loving and doting and sweet to me... I feel so so special and I never have to question how much he loves me.  To just begin to share our lives together again and even get re-acquainted with some of the little details about eachother that we may have forgotten about.  It's just hard to even articulate the feeling there.  And it hasn't gone away since then.

We had a really fun first weekend back together as well.  Thursday night we went to a fancy dinner with my parents, Friday night Eric took me to a romantic dinner and then we saw a movie (my favorite part was him falling asleep on my shoulder during the movie... but hey! it was like 9pm and he's suffering a 14 hour jetlag! haha) and then Saturday morning I woke him up by making him a big breakfast.  I forgot what a sweet sleeper he is.  He gets all bundled up under the covers to where just his eyes poke out... waking up next to him again has been every bit as amazing feeling as I thought it would.  After breakfast, we relaxed a little and Eric got to talk to baby Cannen a bit!  He's been SO sweet with my baby bump.  I swear he treats my bump like it was the baby... which it kinda is... but you get what I mean. haha  He's already such a good daddy and talks to Cannen all the time.  Later, we did a little shopping for some things Eric needed and then Eric took me to the berry farm to go strawberry picking!  I've never been so it was so fun and doing it with him was obviously the best part.  We got lots of yummy berries and the best part was that we helped the economy a little bit by buying local produce! We spent the night snuggling and watched a movie... and again, we were in bed by 9. haha!  Sunday we went to church and EVERYONE... and I mean everyone... was SO welcoming to Eric.  He talked to so many people and so many people were hugging him and welcoming him home again.  It was awesome to watch.  He's truly been on so many peoples minds and in so many peoples prayers.  Then we just spent the rest of the day with my family and had a really nice day.

Monday was the worst because I had to go back to work and I mean, I just got my man back! I don't want to let him out of my sight yet! haha  I swear all weekend he wasn't further than arms length distance from me so going to work yesterday was just rough! I don't want to ever have to miss him again for one more moment. That's the worst.  Today we had an ultrasound for baby Cannen so Eric got to see our son for the first time.  He was SO cute and so loving throughout the whole appointment.  The ultrasound technician made us laugh because Cannen was, yet again, being lazy and stubborn and wouldnt let us get a good picture of him! He was just relaxing and, again, had both of his hands folded up by his head.  We laughed because she was like "come on little boy, get movin! wake up!" and when she looked over at Eric, he was laid back in the chair next to me, just relaxing, with both HIS hands up by head! Without even noticing! haha like father like son, huh?  I loved it so much.

But anyway, to sum everything up, the past 5 days since Eric has been home have been utter ecstasy.  Just bliss.  We're kind of falling in love with eachother all over again in a sense and getting back into certain routines is just so fun and special.  Having him there when I wake up is probably the best feeling I've felt yet... the boy literally doesn't roll over in his sleep without giving me a forehead kiss or telling me half-consciously that he loves me.  It's the sweetest most comfortable and safe feeling I've ever had.  I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been these past few days and I know it will continue.  We always say how we want to be "newlyweds" forever, and I think we can pull it off! haha.

We went through QUITE a season of life there.  It was a long and crazy 8 months apart from eachother but the Lord took us, and molded us, and helped us adapt and delivered us through it with more hope and joy than we could have expected.  This blog has helped me immensely in getting my feelings articulated, and my family and friends have been DETRIMENTAL in helping me keep sane through the deployment and first half of pregnancy, and Eric has been more than supportive and loving through every step... but it is truly and purely only Jesus who took our marriage and took our hearts and got us through each high and low of the whole experience.  He is the reason Eric and I are able to pick up where we left off so easily and I think we are both much stronger and better people together and separately because of how God used this time to grow us individually and show us a whole other side of what it is to be married and be in love and bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ into our marriage.  He brought us through this with more grace than I thought either Eric or I had the capacity for and it's been truly incredible to see where we've both come out on the other side.  ALL thanks to God.  It's truly mindboggling.  He is SO real...

p.s. if you dont have facebook or haven't seen the pictures from Eric's homecoming on facebook, I'll be posting them on here later tonight so check back :)

Eric's homecoming

So yesterday, Eric finally arrived in Norfolk after a long, long flight from Okinawa!  I havent seen his name pop up on my phone in months so as I was sitting with Des yesterday afternoon and my phone started ringing, I swear I almost burst into tears when I saw "Eric Calling" show up on my phone with his personal ringtone which is the song we danced to at our wedding (which I totally forgot that I'd given him his own ringtone).  It's been really cool being able to talk to him on the phone again.  We skyped a lot while he was in Okinawa but actually talking on the phone makes me really happy for some reason.

Per usual with the military, and as somewhat expected, I haven't gotten to see Eric yet.  He was flown into Norfolk and was immediately bussed to Quantico for de-brief and RILOC.  All day today he has been sitting in mundane classes about different things and he will do so for the next 3 days.  Just having him close again is really nice in itself though.

I finally received the email from one of his officers up in DC about when I will get to finally see him and bring him home.  Getting that email was just really, really exciting finally knowing exact dates and times.  SOOOOO, I officially pick Eric up on Thursday around noon!!!  They will be bussed back to his Richmond Unit, have a brief formation, and then be officially released to me to take him home and un-pause our life together.

Cannen can't wait to meet his daddy and I can't wait to get my husband back and actually start our marriage.  Eric is SO excited to see me and Cannen as well and he's ready to jump back in to life and help me get ready for this baby!

Nursery planning!

     So I knew from the beginning that I did NOT want to go the "pink or blue" themed nursery direction.  Overplayed, cheesy, ugly... words that some to mind when thinking about a blue/pink nursery.  I also knew that I didn't want to do the usual thing- cute smiley elephants and lions, mother goose, pastels, Noahs ark, sports, etc.  Those are all overdone.  Originally I had always wanted to go with a toile theme if it was a girl, or a nautical theme if it were a boy.  Then my aunt Sarah did the nautical theme (and I was right on that thinking because her nautical nursery is to DIE for).
     SOOOO,  Eric and I set out for a new nursery theme!  And we've finally decided and yesterday- click click  doubleclick- I ordered everything!  And baby Cannen's nursery theme isssssssssssss:  Vintage Woodsy Critters!
      Explanation:  I found wall decals of cute woods animals- not the usual lions and tigers and bears, but rabbits, deer, squirrels, birds, owls, etc. (picture below) I LOOOOVE that the animals are patterned and made of fabric! It's going to bring such a cool element to the walls. We are going to paint the wall adjacent to the decal wall an earthy green color and put his crib up against that green wall with the Owl Name Decal over the crib. I looooove accent walls. PERSONALLY, I couldnt be more excited about this and so I just wanted to share :)
     We move out of our house in less than a MONTH and into our new home! I cannot WAIT to put his nursery together and take real pics to show yall!

Cannen's woodsy little critters decal set!

 Sherwin Williams gave us paint chip suggestions to match our decals!

this will obviously say Cannen- but how friggen cute!

first 20 weeks of pregnancy- DEBUNKED.

I've wanted to write this for a while now and I think now that I'm half way through my pregnancy, I have some seriously valid points that I need to be perfectly honest about.
     Before you actually are pregnant, pregnancy looks like such a cute and fun time in your life.  You see that big bellied woman walking through the mall in her sweet little spring dress and you just think "awww...".  And followed by that, you think about the sweet little baby in her belly and how exciting that must be.  Or you see a movie and the pregnant girl looks so blissfully happy and excited. THEN, you get married and think "I have just married the man of my dreams. One day we will start a family and it will be so perfect and we will have the cutest kids in the world. I can't wait."  THEN, you go to Japan to visit that perfect man of your dreams, have a truly magical time, and come home and start getting back to real life.  THEN, a week later, you find out your pregnant. In a Target. Because you couldn't wait until you got home because you had to pee right that moment or you were going to explode.
     Now comes the fun.  You call your mom sobbing.  She's in Hawaii on vacation. Then you text your husband, who is 14 hours ahead of you in Japan, to wake up because he is currently asleep. Unaware of the horror and panic that is going on in your car in the Target parking lot.  Later, all has calmed down.  The idea of a baby becomes not-so-scary and more exciting with each passing hour.  After your first Dr. appt where they confirm your pregnancy, it actually becomes more fun! Then you buy all the pregnancy books and calendars that you can find in Barnes and Noble and you get even more excited! Heck, even taking a prenatal everyday is exciting! You don't want to tell anyone that your pregnant yet because you are so newly pregnant and traditional that you're waiting for the 10 week-ish mark.  Whoops!- but then you have a stroke thanks to your ever changing preggo body and your annoyingly smart family and friends start to question why they aren't giving you a CT scan! Annnnnd the word is out. And you're getting "congratulations!" texts while lying on the MRI table.  And before you know it, everyone and their mom knows you're pregnant annnnnd you had the pleasure of telling NO ONE! (Don't mess with the power of the gossiping family grapevine.  You tell one person-- everyone knows. Within minutes.)

So it's out! You're pregnant! You're pregnant with a baby that you and husband had not exactly planned for, but it's still a wonderful thing!  You must be thrilled! Everyone else is! You're going to love being pregnant! Everyone else does! Except... no.  Some women experience no symptoms of pregnancy and have a beautiful experience. We hate those women. Some women have an awful experience full of complications and changes, and I truly feel so bad for them.  Then there are some of us who just have the normal difficult, love-hate relationship with pregnancy.  Or maybe you're somewhere in the middle. I have compiled a list of things no one tells you until you're sucked in and good 'n' knocked up.  Here goes.



Exhaustion
Two things I've learned.  First Trimester- you will not stay awake. You cannot stay awake.  No amount of sleep will give you energy.  You will go to sleep at 8pm every single night and on the weekends you will do nothing.  People will whine and moan that you are avoiding them and that you never come around anymore. Your friends will think you're lame. Leave us alone. We are nauseous and tired. Always, always tired.
Second trimester- nothing changes. Other moms tell you to get ready for the second trimester BOOST of energy, but this is a lie.  There is no boost. You may stay up until 8:30pm.  But that's about as far as that goes. You will feel narcoleptic.  People will still give you crap for not hanging out as much. This is all perfectly normal, so says my Doctor.  For those moms who have experienced this Second Trimester Energy, I hate envy you.


You Must Always Be Happy
 In a way, it's dumb to even try to explain all this to people.  Like trying to explain mustard to a fish.  Women who are already parents tell you you're just going through stress and it'll be fine.  Women who aren't parents just look at you like you're nuts.  Reality:  Pregnancy is horrifying.  You have no idea what's going on with your body.  No one tells you what's normal and what's not. And there are a lot of times where you're just straight filled with doubt!  Did you make a mistake? Can you handle taking care of another LIFE for the rest of your life?  If you're like me, you'll have some serious breakdowns.  You will think this is too fast, I just got married, I am terrified and this MUST be a mistake.  THEN, you'll text your husband in Japan looking for some support and kind words, and tell him your worries and that you're currently bawling your eyes out.  THEN, his response will say something like: ".my 'So You're Going To Be A Father' book said that you'd probably get like this. All extra emotional and irrational. Don't worry. Just chill. It's just your hormones."...................  Of course THAT is exactly what you were hoping to hear and all your fears and concerns are dismissed....................
..... Anyway,  point is, I've learned that it's more than okay-- it's NORMAL-- to not see this pregnancy as the ultimate, magical, wonderful gift every minute of everyday.  You just pray and prepare as much as possible and hope to God you're a good parent. And realize that despite his insensitive and rude approach misplaced affection, your husband was right-- you're hormones are messing with you big time.

Morning Sickness
Everyone talks about morning sickness but somehow, it never actually gets the appropriate credit for how awful it is.
1) Women who are pregnant should get a 3 month, first trimester, excused sick leave from work.  Done and done.
2)  (This one is for husbands/people who have never been pregnant or don't know much about pregnancy)  Don't be fooled into thinking morning sickness has anything to do with mornings.  I honestly have no idea why they call it that and it plucks my nerves a bit! It's all-the-friggen-time sickness and it makes me laugh that people think we're just nauseous in the morning then we go about a normal day.  And when I say it makes me laugh, I mean it makes me want to punch you.
3)  Don't grill raw chicken, use curry, cook seafood , or open a God forsaken can of tuna within a 10 mile radius of a first trimester preggo.  Just don't do it.


Other Aches Pains and Misery
- Everything will hurt.  Your boobs, your back, your stomach, your feet, your ankles. Everything.  If nothing hurts, something is wrong. If everything hurts too much, something is wrong. If everything hurts just enough to make you want to rip that part of your body off, then your pregnancy is going smoothly and everything seems healthy! :)
- Try not to cough or sneeze. This causes something called Round Ligament Pain. A sharp MISERABLE pain that shoots through your uterus like someone has just sent a fireball up through your vagina and it exploded around your cervix. That's what that is.
- Your babys kicks are sweet and innocent.  and sometimes hurt. Especially the bladder ones and the cervix ones.
- You will NEED your husband like you need water. Even if he is thousands of miles away.  He will be the sweetest ever and try so hard to understand what is going on in your little belly and just when you feel like you want to hurt everyone around you, you'll realize how much you need him.  Poor guy doesn't have the right answers and only knows what he reads about pregnancy but you will realize how wonderful of a dad he will be more and more everyday.  Don't blow up at your husband... he's doing his very very best to understand this crazy time in your life!
- EVERYONE and their mom has advice for you.  Some of it is actually great advice.  Those moms with young children have truly great advice usually! It's the people who have never been pregnant who at some point in their life vaguely knew someone who was pregnant-- THOSE are the people who will have the most ridiculous advice for you that will most likely contradict the advice of your doctor and will probably defy any logic.  These people are the most annoying people.  An 80 year old who gave birth 60 years ago will have a BOOK of advice for you-- most of it complete and utter rubbish.  Your best friend will share every bit of her wealth of knowledge that she learned while watching A Baby Story, and freak you the heck out. Your husband will give you advice based on what he remembers from his mom being pregnant with his sister in 1990, OR based on what his "So You're Going To Be A Father" book tells him.... written by a guy.
- Pregnancy will mostly be not that fun, except for you lucky women.... but it is always, always worth it in the end.  And any mom will tell you that.

So this is what I've learned so far from being pregnant these past 21 weeks.  Mostly this is just meant to be humorous and pregnancy HAS NOT been an awful experience everyday.  But I will say that I was pretty naive coming into being preggo and didn't realize how true some of the crappier parts of pregnancy could be.
*Sigh* Corny as it is, I wouldn't give up being pregnant for anything now that I know I have the sweetest little man growing inside of me.  I plan to write another one of these after I give birth with any other myths I may debunk/things I may learn the hard way over these next 20 weeks.  Needless to say, I'm not a girl who looooves being pregnant! I'm no Octo-mom or Michelle Duggar.  I do love my little boy so much already though and I know I'll appreciate the experience that is pregnancy more after it's all over.

Now it is exactly 8:41pm... I'm going to sleep. ;)

ohhhh Boy!

I'm a bad blogger lately.  Sowwy about that.  SUCH big, fun, exciting things happening lately though!  Here goes:

-  IT'S A BOY! My ultrasound last week was surreal and quite an experience. (a couple PICTURESSSS below at the end of the post- she printed off about 20 for me but I won't share them all.) When I lay down and the woman told me I was having a boy, I will admit that I teared up a little bit, but it soon hit me that I was tearing up because Eric wasn't there with me.  I pictured what his face would look like upon hearing the news that he was going to have a son and even just my distorted, fictional made up image brought me to tears.  I know he would have been so happy.  I sucked up my tears though and soon it hit me that I was about to bring a little Eric into the world. Scary, right? ;)
         I was SO glad to have my mom there with me, though.  She has been my ROCK through this whole first and second trimester.  She's been by my side at every big appointment and every step of the way and I only hope I can be that supportive and wonderful of a mother to my son.  It's amazing how she's held me together at different moments of this pregnancy.  When she found out she would soon have a grandson she filled with tears of joy as well and, even though Eric wasn't there, it was really, really awesome sharing that moment with my own mom.
        So after seeing his little "pointer" and taking in all the excitement, the ultrasound went on for a while longer.  She took measurements and all of his measurements came back perfectly normal for how far along I am.  We also realized that he might be a little too much like his daddy already.  Our baby boy was so uncooperative! haha!  He quite literally just laid there and didn't move.  The ultrasound technician said that usually the babies are moving around, wiggling around, and they make it pretty easy for them to get all of their measurements and for them to get decent pictures for us mommies and daddies to take home!  Not our boy!  He literally laid there, on top of the placenta like it was a mattress.  We watched him stretch out his feet and cross his little ankles, and watched him throw his arms back and scratch his head.  From there, he pretty much relaxed and took a nap.  I wiggled around, turned on my side, turned on my other side, poked at him-- he wasn't having it.  So lazy! haha!  So because of this, I have to go back in another 4 weeks for another ultrasound to have the technician get the rest of his measurements that he wouldn't let us get. Little booger.  Atleast Eric will be home though so that's actually exciting because he will get to come see the baby and HOPEFULLY our boy is a bit more animated and energetic this time around!
      Eric and I also decided on his name-- Cannen Eric. (pronounced like "cannon", like a cannonball, not "kay-nen".) haha Anyway, Cannen stems from the old Hebrew biblical name Canaan which means "covenant".   We both agree that it's a good strong name for our boy.  We decided on Eric as a middle name for him because it's another good strong name!  It's the name of his daddy and the name of his grandpa, my dad.  He will carry on the legacy of two great, strong men.

- In other, equally as exciting news, ERIC COMES HOME IN A WEEK!  That's right people. A week.  I am REELING on this fact and sometimes think I might explode of excitement.  I can't stop smiling, I'm all ooey-gooey loveydovey all the time, and just the happiest a wife could be.  I feel pathetic sometimes but knowing that my husband will soon be home, for good, back in our home, back in our bed, and I get to do his laundry again and make him dinner makes me SO happy.  He's so excited as well and hes still so good about telling me how excited he is to see me and meet my baby belly. haha!  The minute he's home, I don't plan on letting him out of my sight again for a good long while. But seriously. I'm not going to.  Ugh... I love that man.  My Marine.

haha it's a boy!

sweetest little footsie.

not a good side profile picture of him because he wouldn't move from his comfy spot, but he's still a cutie!

Hoping for better pics of him at the next ultrasound on May 22nd!  Will keep ya updated with those!

woo! Its been a hot second since I last updated and I apologize- but, nothing too eventful has been going on! haha  But here's the usual update :)

- Eric comes home in 23 days. yes. 23. and then he is home for good. forever. I wake up and go to bed every day and every night and look to my left and see no one, but knowing that he'll be there soon.  I'm so excited I can't even put it into words so I won't try.  Tomorrow Eric attaches back onto his Unit.  When he got to Japan, he had to start working with a different Unit than his usual Richmond one because of his job.  This is all exciting because him reattaching to his old Unit just means that the end is nearer! The Advanced Party comes back to the US in 2 days... Again exciting because if the advanced party of troops is coming back, that only means they are ready shortly to send for the remaining troops to return.  Including my husband! Eric is so excited to come home and he never fails to tell me how ready he is to be with me everyday again.  He has managed to continue being the most loving and sweet husband even from so far away.  He reassures me everyday how perfect things will be when he gets back and how much he loves me and baby.  He's perfect and I don't deserve him. 23 more days, baby!
- Baby is almost 19 weeks old (in the womb haha) and is doing great!  Newwwwest development is that I felt her/him kick and so did my mommy!  I've felt little flutters now and then and then on Sunday at church, I had my hand on my belly and boop! went a little baby kick :)  It was the sweetest cutest little poke ever and after my mom felt it, it was all I could do to not tear up.  Its taken me by absolute storm how much I've fallen in love with this baby.  Every flutter or kick I feel gives me this naturally incredible feeling and I can't help smiling and thinking to myself about how I've never felt something like this.  I love this little miracle so, unbelievably much already and its so humbling and truly amazing how much my love still grows for him or her every day.  I can't wait for Eric to get home so he can experience this too and so we can feel like a little family again.
- Motherly instincts are starting to take over! So, I always knew that I would be a somewhat picky mom about certain things but I am really starting to develop a natural motherly instinct for things I didnt think I'd care so much about! haha! I spend my whole day reading books about babies.  I spend just as much time researching baby things.  and then when Im not doing those things I spend my time reading my baby magazines that I now get in the mail.  haha Eric says I'm 'drinking the koolaid' and that I'm being brainwashed by everything I'm reading.  I dont think thats the case at all because I'm really just trying to be the best mom I can be and get prepared.  I like all the reading I'm doing and I love all the things I'm finding out about babies and infancy! Once I can manage to get Eric on board (typical boy haha), I think we'll be the worlds most prepared and best parents ever. He might not want to admit it but he'll get more into it too sooner than later. And I know this because I know he will be the best parent and the best dad.  He's too wonderful not to be.
- I managed to find our next home! It was pretty stress-free thanks in large part to my incredible mommy who always seems to be great at stuff like this!  I looked at a few houses and a few townhouses and a few apartment complexes and finally found a really great two bedroom apartment for Eric and I to move into this June!  We've already started planning the nursery and it will be so cute, I can tell already. :) The apartment is so nice and really spacious. It will be perfect to start our little family in.  When our lease is up there next June and life has settled a bit, Eric and I will move into our first real house and it will definitely be easier to do so with Eric here and available to help me with all that stuff.  I'll tell you I didnt want to be in another apartment but it's only another year and it'll be great.
-  Eric and I are starting to plan a little vacation for when he comes home.  Probably for right before we move into the new place.  We're thinking about Myrtle Beach and staying in my families beachhouse for a week or so.  It would definitely be a nice getaway and probably the last one for us two alone before the baby comes.  In July we are going to the Jersey shore with my family on vacation so that will be fun too.  We were supposed to go on a cruise but, ofcourse, I will be too far along in my pregnancy and I'm not allowed on the ship.  Grrrr....
-  We find out babys gender on in 1 more week!  Next Thursday, the 26th, I go for my ultrasound and we will see whether theres a baby Eric in there or a baby Mandie.  Eric says he hopes it's a girl but I think he's just trying to be nice because he knows I need a girl at some point. haha As the mommy, I don't care what it is- I'm just excited to find out and start buying clothes. haha typical!  I did the old wives tale trick (putting a ring on the end of a piece of thread and holding it above your belly) and it started to swing back and forth.  They say if it goes back and forth then you're having a boy and if it swings in little circles then you're having a girl-- so if the wives tale proves true, we're having a boy! haha  I'm so excited to find out for sure and even more excited to tell Eric.  I know that will make things even MORE real for both of us and he will be that much more anxious to get home.

ok well I think that's it for now! God is good and we are SO blessed, bottom line :)  Thanks for all of your prayers and well wishes for us and baby as always!